The Quarian Nature
by Atarian
Summary: Not all quarians are tech-savvy. The pilgrimage journey of a quarian girl with a green thumb and her struggle to find love and her way between her people's dire past and their uncertain future. Starts within ME1 timeline. Original Story, original characters.
1. Prologue

The Quarian Nature

Prologue

Ysa'Dahan nar Shellen was in a bad mood. No, really she was pissed. Badly. Just about everything seemed to turn into crap! Right now, she hated the universe in general and herself in particular. Mopingly she kicked a piece of junk aside on her way to the field hospital of the refugee camp, carrying two tubes of dextro nutrient paste in her small three-fingered hands. She was of firm build and rather short, even by quarian standards, at slightly less than 1.60 meters, which accentuated her wide hips even the more. She wore a brown and beige enviro-suit and a green veil that had yellow patterns of plants and leaves on it. She used to have a green visor faceplate too, but it broke in an accident she had a year ago on her birth-ship, the _Shellen_. Back then, some techies who were about to repair the hydroponics' climate control system spilled some oil on the floor and clumsy little Ysa slipped and crashed into a metal crate, leaving a crack in her visor. Fortunately she wasn't wounded in the face, but still became quite sick after dirt and pollen had gotten into her helmet. The replacement visor she got was of a dark, dull grey, which mirrored her mood then quite well, sulking away in the infirmary, cursing those stupid maintenance-bosh'tets. She remembered those days, realizing that her current mood wasn't all that much better - it was much worse, actually. She felt numb and muddleheaded, although she wasn't physically sick now - but most definitely homesick.

"Damnit." she muttered under her breath. "Damn filthy shit, all of it!"

"Ba'kho mel detha!" she added even louder, a distinctly quarian curse that no translator VI would dare to process. She noticed the irritated look of an asari in front of the tent she was passing. Her name was Rena, she recalled.

"What?" Ysa snapped at her, "If this isn't the right time and place to curse, then when or where is?"

The asari maiden was taken aback a little by the fretful attitude of the petite quarian girl. But then she tilted her head and nodded, sighing.

"You've got a point there, suity-sweety."

"Rena! I said it before, don't call me that, or I'll _accidentally_ drop some nice spicy turian herbs in your food, squid-head!"

Rena frowned, "Squid-head? Where did you pick that one up?"

"Um... I heard an angry human saying that to an asari. I have no idea what a squid is, but I like the nasty sound of it. It _suits_ you!"

Rena rolled her eyes, "Ok, drop it, Ysa. And about those turian herbs, actually the stuff that came out of your field kitchen down there last time tasted like that already! A quarian cook! That's like... like..."

"An asari mechanic?"

"Yeah, well, once again, point taken." said the asari mechanic.

"And I'm not a cook. I'm a gardener in fact. But you know I can cook well, dextro or levo kitchen, and you didn't complain those last two months, did you? But right now, I'm just cooking for myself and the turians. The guys responsible for the levo foods in the camp are Merrash the salarian, and three of the humans, so don't blame me, ok?"

"Yeah, sorry, I'll have a word with them, then. See you later, Ysa."

The asari smirked sourly and went her way down the path to the field kitchens. Ysa liked that 'young' asari, for she wasn't quite as arrogant as the other asari, most of which didn't even talk to the quarian. Except the boss of course, but she was badly wounded and comatose now. The thought gave her a another stroke of pain and guilt. Ysa sighed. She shouldn't be so grumpy towards people, all in all they had treated her really properly. In fact, those first two months of her pilgrimage went incredibly well, compared to the many stories she had heard from homecoming pilgrims back on the fleet, who had some terrifying tales to tell about racism and mistreatment towards quarians. No, Ysa got it better in those first two months, joining an asari led archaeological expedition to a prothean excavation-site on an uncharted planet in the Tethys Gamma cluster in the Attican Traverse. The archaeological team was surprisingly diverse, besides the asari there were turians, salarians, even a volus, and Ysa herself - being a quarian! And professor Dr. Neria Tenakis, her boss, a leading asari archaeologist, was a remarkably decent person. Ysa thanked the ancestors for bumping into her on the citadel, just shortly after she arrived there for the first days of her pilgrimage.


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Ysa tried to find work on the Citadel, offering her knowledge on cooking and all kinds of grocery and herbs to restaurants and hotel kitchens. She'd do anything, and if it were just washing the dishes for a start. She even tried asking the gardeners who kept the citadel parks tidy if she could help weeding. But for the first week, time and again she got rejected, insulted and evicted.

'We don't hire suit-rats!'

'Don't even look at the cash box, or I'll hand your rubber butt to C-Sec!'

'A quarian in our kitchen? You'll poison our customers!'

'You sure look like you've been diggin' dirt all your life. Get lost, filthy brat!'

'You're a quarian, why don't you go find work in engineering and repairs?'

Just one week, and Ysa was already getting desperate. The balance on the credit chit she got on the fleet for the start of her pilgrimage was quickly melting away, just for the ridiculously expensive little room, or rather 'sleeping box', she had rented in the lower wards. If she couldn't find work soon, she'd have to sleep in the streets and then likely to be prosecuted for vagrancy by C-Sec, she thought grimly.

Neria Tenakis, at that time still preparing and gathering her team for the expedition, sat in a salarian restaurant in the upper wards and overheard the quarian girl's pleas for work and being rejected once again rudely by the indignant salarian manager. Without even hesitating Neria waved Ysa over.

"Hello? Yes you, young lady! Come over here! Good afternoon, I am Dr. Neria Tenakis, University of Serrice. I overheard you are looking for a job? You know how to cook? I am an archaeologist, for my next expedition I need a cook who can do levo as well as dextro kitchen."

Neria had, for an asari, very stern facial features and a dark blue skin. At first glance, she appeared almost intimidating to Ysa, but her expression was just warm and friendly. Still, Ysa was almost too stunned to reply.

"Umm... Yes, Madam, I can. I mean, it was also part of my training. My name's Ysa'Dahan nar Shellen and... but... I'm not a real cook by profession. I am a gardener. Or maybe in your culture it's called a farmer. But it's different... Back on the flotilla we're called gardeners. I worked on the _Shellen_, one of our big liveships, and I was responsible for maintaining hydroponics, automated or otherwise, raising and harvesting crops and the herbs to prepare food like nutrient paste. To make it taste like something, or anything at all. The hydroponics are mostly automated, so preparing nutrient paste was also part of my job, but not exclusively.. Erm.. what I mean, I can cook too, I have good experience with turian cuisine which is quite popular on the flotilla, as we're not always just eating paste there. And, ah, well... Part of my preliminary training for the pilgrimage was cooking various foods for levo-amino-chiralty as well. But, you know, as I can't eat those, or even taste them without risking an allergic reaction, I can't guarantee the taste is decent, I can just stay as close as possible to the recipes, of which I have quite a large collection on my omni-tool, asari kitchen, salarian, human and various cultural subcategories of each... Um..."

Ysa watched her feet and didn't know if she should apologize for her continuous confused rambling. But Neria just looked at her with a friendly smile and let out a little laugh.

"Don't worry dear! On our last expedition we just had dried and canned ration packs for months! The cook quit, because he could not stand that planet's climate. Now, how about you come to our ship tomorrow afternoon and cook something for the crew and my team? And if no one complains, you are hired! Our expedition will go to a still uncharted planet in the Attican Traverse and last about 4 months. Within standard hour shifts you will be cooking, cleaning and helping around, but nothing out of the ordinary. I can pay you 70 credits per day, plus board and food, of course."

Ysa was completely baffled, "Th..Thank you, Madam, that's very... Thank you so much, I won't disappoint you!"

"Just call me Neria and stop shaking, girl! See you tomorrow at 1800 Citadel time, our ship's the _Ardelaza_, it is docked in sector 14-B. Don't be late!"

Ysa couldn't believe her luck on that day, and even less the next day, when the crew was actually satisfied with her cooking.

* * *

Some days later aboard the _Ardelaza_, a small but convenient asari freighter, Ysa worked towards the shift's end in the mess hall, cleaning up the tables after dinner. The crew had left for their cabins and sleeper-pods, but Dr. Tenakis was still sitting there by herself, pensively studying a data pad displaying the hanar's legends about the protheans. Ysa couldn't help standing there, staring at her for a moment, hesitating.

"Do you have something on your mind, girl?" Neria asked slightly amused, without looking up.

Ysa coughed awkwardly, "Erm. I apologize for staring, Madam. I was just wondering... Um.. Why do you treat me so well? That's... not common. Towards a quarian, I mean..."

The asari smiled at her and put down the pad.

"Come here, take a seat, please!"

Ysa hesitated once again for a moment, but then put the dishes on the counter and quietly took seat opposite to the asari, who chuckled at the girl's reluctance.

"Now, where to start? First off, I am always trying to judge people by what they do and not of what species they are. And in my 400 years of life, I think I have developed some good sense if people are trustworthy or not." Neria stated matter-of-factly.

"And just recently a former student of mine, her name is Liara, wrote to me about a quarian she is working with. She told me what a nice person that girl is, and said she would never again prematurely judge quarians by their questionable reputation." She snorted quietly.

"Well, she is young, just about 100 now and does not know that I myself do not need to be reminded of that. Would you like to hear the story, or are you falling asleep already?"

Ysa's white glowing eyes widened behind her faceplate, "Hmm. Oh, a story? Y-Yes, why not? I mean, sure I'd like to hear it!"

"Alright then, you mind getting me a drink? There is a bottle of thessian rainflower liquor in that cabinet over there. You get yourself something to drink too, if you like."

"Of course!"

Swiftly Ysa went to bring Neria her drink and got herself a little bottle of a rare quarian softdrink she had bought back on the citadel. Neria took a sip of her liquor, leaning back, contemplating.

"I remember a time, when I was just as young as Liara is now. Three hundred years ago... Quarians did not have to wear those suits," She pointed at Ysa "and were a respected people. And I found myself in love with a dashing young quarian archaeologist."

"You're kidding me!" Ysa blurted out.

"No, I am not, young Miss Dahan nar Shellen! His name was Sal'Kezah vas Benyat and he was quite a nice and handsome guy. Oh, and brilliant too."

The quarian tilted her head to the side, "Vas Benyat... Benyat? Was that a ship or.. Ah! That was a city on Rannoch, wasn't it?"

"Yes it was. I saw it. I walked within it's parks and alleys with him."

Ysa's eyes looked as if they were about to pop out of her helmet.

"Keelah! You've been there!? On Rannoch? Wow, I... I can't believe it!"

Neria gave the stammering girl a sincere laugh.

"I know, to you it certainly sounds like some fairy tale. But back then, visiting Rannoch was just completely normal, like visiting Illium, or Palaven. Of course I visited my fiancé's homeworld. I may still have some pictures around somewhere I could show you."

"Wow, yes! I'd really like that! Oh Keelah Se'lai! I wish I could see it with my own eyes, someday. See the gardens of my ancestors' homeworld. The flowers, trees and plants. I had to learn all of those, even though they're just a distant memory for us. So weird, having to study Rannoch's flora from old books, it felt kind of pointless. We couldn't take all that much with us, only what was needed to survive, staple food and some herbs. But everything else, all that beauty, gone and lost. With no one to behold it, but the geth. Oh..!" now she realized, "It was 300 years ago, when... the geth."

Neria frowned sadly and nodded slowly.

"Yes. It was that time. He wanted to stay. To fight for his homeworld. I wanted to stay there with him, to fight at his side, but he would not let me. He... forced me to leave. He promised to come back to me after the war. But... he did not."

"He.. was killed?"

"Yes he was. Along with those billions of your people." Neria closed her eyes. A tear welling up. "I am sorry. It is so long ago. But remembering it still hurts, you know. I still miss him, after all those centuries. I will never forget him."

Ysa was on the verge of crying too, but pulled herself up.

"I'm sorry! It's my fault! I brought up those memories to you. Just... I'm really sorry!"

Neria faintly smiled again.

"Don't be. It is not your fault. I actually feel better. I buried all that in my mind a long time ago. But being asari, with my long life, it is important for me to remember from time to time where I came from. It is good, being able to talk about it to someone who can understand. Most people nowadays just blame you quarians, saying that you deserve your fate. But, by the Goddess, I know you don't! That I know for sure, that your people did not deserve _that_!" she said with a rising, assertive voice.

Ysa found herself in an awkward position, slightly disagreeing.

"But it was _our_ mistake! The geth defended themselves. They were sentient and we tried to kill them! We had to pay for that mistake!"

"Don't talk like that, child! You did not _see_ what happened back then!" Neria chided, her eyes narrowing, agitated. "Don't you tell me that what the geth did, was in any way justified! What your people did, was trying to shut down what they thought to be merely malfunctioning machines! The citadel council itself issued the urgent directive to shut them down! Your people had no damned choice! And the geth in return... They murdered everbody! Civilians! Men, women, the children... All those innocent children! Sentient? The geth showed no compassion or mercy at all! Self-defence? Nonsense! You were a people of FIVE BILLION SOULS! All that was left were a mere seventeen million. _That_ was genocide! I could not do anything but witness it from afar. It was a massacre. It was carnage. The oceans of Rannoch turned red from their blood! Your people have every right in the universe to hate the geth!"

Her voice trembled.

Ysa was shocked by Neria's outburst and felt herself dwindling in her chair.

Timidly she replied, "You're right, I wasn't there. I can't imagine it at all. It's... too much to even try. What do I know? To you, I must appear like an ignorant infant. I just wish there could be some hope for... peace. And hate won't get us anywhere..."

Neria sighed deeply and her expression softened.

"I am so sorry, child. I did not mean to scold you. You have a good heart, Ysa. And that is what sets us apart from _them_, the _synthetics_. Always keep that in mind. And always follow your heart, it is the source of your wisdom."

Ysa felt a little embarrassed and didn't quite know what to reply.

"Um.. Thank you, Madam Neria. I feel honored, that you shared this with me. I..."

"It is all right, child. I have to thank you, for listening to this old woman's ranting. It is late, go and rest."

Neria got up and turned to the elevator. Ysa got up, too and nodded.

"Yes. Thank you again.. I'll finish cleaning up first. Have a good night, Madam."

"It's just Neria, remember?" she turned halfway, "Sleep well, my dear."

* * *

The other day, Neria invited Ysa to show her old pictures of Rannoch to her. Of course Ysa had already seen a lot of old photos and vids from Rannoch in school, but back then, it felt distant and unreal. But this time, seeing Neria - the woman sitting just next to her! - in them, she experienced a strange new sensation of connection, of reality. One of the photos depicted a younger Neria and her _unmasked_ quarian fiancé Sal'Kezah in some kind of roof-terrace restaurant. At their table, serving beverages, stood the waiter. A geth. The couple looked so happy. Unaware. Unsuspecting. It sent a cold shiver down the quarian girl's spine.


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

The following two months went like a dream for Ysa, by her humble expectations. The planet was named 'Thimaya' by the asari, located in the Sphinx system. It had breatheable air and the climate was cool but pleasant, with minor precipitation every now and then, but no storms. And Ysa had her own little tent to sleep in! A space all for herself! On the flotilla she always had had to share a little room with several people, with her parents of course, then later with her co-workers in the hydroponics division. Everything felt so completely different, now. The experience of actually living on a planet's surface was sort of a culture shock to her. The sheer vastness of the landscape made her all dizzy. Compared to this, even the huge hydroponic fields aboard the _Shellen_ appeared so small and confined. Neria's excavation team was a colourful bunch of twenty people. Six turians, five salarians, eight asari and one volus. Each an expert in their field, they were nice and calm people, except for one of the turians who kept complaining the food won't be spicy enough. But the other turians kept reassuring Ysa that the taste was just perfect and she shouldn't listen to grumpy old Letanus' nagging. Oh, and then there was the volus. At first, he (or she? Ysa wasn't entirely sure about that) used to be quite a pain in her rear, too.

"Hello, Tak Unap?"

"What do you want, _clanless_?

"I wanted to order some ingredients for the food. The ship's leaving tomorrow to get supplies, isn't it? Dr. Tenakis said you are managing the purchase lists. Oh, and my _name_ is Ysa'Dahan, by the way."

"Then hand me your requests, I'll have a look over them, clanless."

"I said, my NAME is Ysa and I'm of 'clan' Dahan!"

"That's not what it means. Your people are all effectively clanless within galactic community. It's irrelevant what your names may be, _clanless_."

Ysa sighed in despair.

"Okay, yes, I know we quarians have _effectively_ been expulsed from the galactic community. I've been busy regretting that fact all my life! You don't need to rub it in my face all the time! And if you always call every quarian 'clanless', it gets kind of redundant, doesn't it? Ok, I know how important these conventions are for the volus, you are a proud people and I don't have a problem with that. But could you _please_ just pretend like I'm part of this team and show just a tiny bit of recognition?"

Tak Unap stood still for a moment, taking in two hissing breaths from his respirator.

"I think I can do that, Dahan."

"Will you... What? Oh.. Uhm.. Thank you, um, vol-clan!"

The volus actually laughed. A totally weird, tinny sound that Ysa had never heard before.

"Despite your species, you appear to be a reasonably respectable individual. You are still clanless, but I'll omit the remark for the time being."

"Okay... thanks, I think I can live with that."

"The list?"

"What?"

"Supplies?"

"Oh that, yes, here you are."

After that, they actually got along quite well and even found to have something in common, they both had to wear an enviro-suit all the time and nobody knew their faces. Then, as even the volus seemed to respect her, she slowly stopped to only watch her feet around people all the time.

The most unfamiliar, but at the same time most satisfying experience for her was being able to occasionally be _alone_, a virtually unachievable convenience within the cramped confines of a migrant fleet's ship. In her free hours she'd roam the wild, pristine planet that fortunately didn't inhabit any dangerous animals. She went wandering the large plains of grassland around the huge prothean pyramid that just impassively sat there, quietly and patiently guarding it's secrets for the countless millenia since it's creation. The archaeologists still couldn't find a way to even put a dent in it's surface, let alone open it. They still seemed content ruining drill after drill on it's defiant surface, Ysa noticed and shook her head with a smirk.

She rather went researching and analyzing the planet's plants and seeds for something she could preserve to take back to the migrant fleet. Of course, as a pilgrimage gift she'd have to find something quite special. What she had in mind, was finding something like a plant that was edible for both levo- and dextro-DNA species. Such a plant would be really useful for the migrant fleet, if they could grow a plant to eat for themselves, but also to trade it with levo-based species, which were the vast majority among the galaxy. There was already one such plant known, but it tasted just terrible to all species. Except krogans though, but there was still something edible at all to be discovered, they would _not_ devour. Yet, the plants and fruits she had analysed, despite being dextro-based, all turned out to be highly toxic. She wasn't all that much disappointed, as she hadn't really expected to find a botanic miracle that soon. She just enjoyed it so much to experience and touch a planet's nature for the first time in her life. Even though the experience was dulled by the layers of her suit's fabric and the air-filters of her helmet.

One day, she noticed some little critter scuttling over her faceplate. She did not cringe, but instead carefully grabbed the little yellow spider-like creature and watched it curiously, as it scrambled around her glove with it's many legs. She wondered why almost every ecosystem in the galaxy but Rannoch's had developed some sort of insectoid life. She shrugged, smiled and cautiously put the little creature back into the grass. After two weeks, she had finally adapted to the planet's 19-hour day rhythm. In the evenings she'd lie comfortably in a sleeping bag in her little tent. At first, the lack of a ship's sounds kept her awake, but then she perceived the sound of the planet itself. Like the wind in the grass, quiet chirping and cooing sounds of small nocturnal animals or rain pounding on her tent. When she got used to it, she slept so much better than ever before. This was _nature_, not the cold mechanical sound of engines and air filter systems. She used to keep the entrance of her tent halfway open to marvel the sunset when, at times, she'd secretly activate her suit's nerve-stim application to slip away into the most pleasant dreams, with a broad smile on her face.

* * *

Ysa was really satisfied with the way her pilgrimage went so far, but then again she thought, she should have known it was all too perfect. In an instant it all went to hell.

She was in the kitchen-tent at that time, preparing lunch for the team, as she heard the faint but growing roar of a descending ship. The _Ardelaza_ wasn't yet scheduled for return, as it had just left the day before, to pick up some supplies at a nearby human colony outpost. Yells of alarm sounded through the camp. Running outside, Ysa saw Neria Tenakis putting on a light combat armour, shouting orders. Somehow the asari now appeared like a completely different personality, as if the scientist just switched her mind to become a warrior.

"They didn't hail or answer our calls! Probably they're pirates or slavers. Defence team, gear up! They're most likely going to touch down over there. Move behind the farther side of the pyramid! Stack up those crates! Rena, get the kinetic shields ready! Ysa? You keep your head down! This is going to be tough!"

She ran back over to the tent of Eltrin, the salarian responsible for the radio, who stuck his head out shouting "The comm's all dead. They're probably jamming distress frequencies."

"All right, drop it and grab your gun! We're not going to let them have a walk in the park!"

When the team gathered at the pyramid to set up a defence line, Ysa got the impression that it definitely wasn't the first time for the archaeologists to be attacked by pirates, who were surely attracted by supposedly easy prey. Fortunately, the six turians and three of the salarians were military trained and the asari also sported a good punch using their biotics. But Ysa herself did well by listening to Neria's order to keep her head down. She was a strong girl, but gunfight was definitely not among her talents. She had gotten some basic hand-to-hand self-defence training prior to her pilgrimage, but no military training at all. She could barely hold and fire a small handgun, without making a complete fool of herself. She wasn't prepared for a fight like this. She had never considered herself a coward, but as mass accelerated bullets hissed over her head, the remains of her courage quickly collapsed. This was no action vid or VR-game, this was real, and deadly. Cold fear seized her chest. She wouldn't have recognized herself, as she cowered down in the dirt, shaking, terrified by the screams of her companions getting shot, wounded, killed. She didn't even get to see the attacking raiders.

"Spirits, damnit, there's krogans with them! We're screwed!" she heard one of the turians yell over the noise of crackling guns.

"Shut up and keep shooting, they're not invincible! Teyka, I need a biotic barrier over here! Ajana, warp that batarian there on the left!" Neria shouted.

Ysa had lost any sense of time, she couldn't tell if the fight took mere minutes or hours. As she prayed to the ancestors for a quick death, finally a new roaring sound erupted above her. Heavy cannon fire made the ground beneath her shake. Then - silence.

Slowly, she turned around on her back, trying to make sense of her surroundings through the dirt on her faceplate. Numbly, she recognized the logo on the heavy frigate hovering above her, about to land. _Systems Alliance_ - humans! Trembling she got onto her feet. She didn't even notice the gasping turian who grabbed her shaking shoulders.

"You ok, quarian? Are you hurt?"

Ysa didn't reply. She could just stare at the motionless, bleeding bodies in front of her.

"Ajana, Fentus, Eltrin... Neria...!", she whispered in shock.


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Two turians, three asari and two salarians were dead. Another six people wounded. Tarras the turian had lost a lower leg. Neria Tenakis was severely wounded by shots to chest and abdomen and barely stabilized by the human medics aboard the _McPherson_, a Systems Alliance heavy frigate. Ysa couldn't believe being still alive. She didn't even have a suit rupture. Not a single scratch! And she felt _guilty_. For not having been able to help. For cowering in the dirt, while the people defending _her_ were just dying around her! On a rational level, she understood that there was nothing she could have done. Had she tried to fight, she would have just instantly had gotten herself killed without helping anyone. Still, she felt like a useless piece of trash. From the humans who came out of the _McPherson _she gathered what had happened before. The small human mining colony 'Nova Macedonia' in the neighborhood system got attacked by the geth just the day before. The colony was heavily damaged, twenty of the fifty-five civilians within the colony dead or turned into husks, before the patrolling Alliance heavy frigate and the human soldiers could destroy the geth forces. The human colony had to be abandoned, as the colony's buildings were too severely damaged to support the survivors in the toxic atmosphere. As there were still numerous geth forces reported between their position and the mass relay, the human ship's captain decided to go for Thimaya to make camp before Alliance reinforcements could arrive in several days. Too bad for the archaeologist party, the pirates seemed to have had a similar idea earlier on, driven to Thimaya by the geth threat. To the _McPherson_ and it's cannons, those pirates they found attacking the camp on the surface were just a minor annoyance. So, too bad for the pirates, too. Now, one day later, the former archaeologists' excavation site had turned into a refugee camp, with several newly erect tents for the thirty-five human survivors from Nova Macedonia, who'd just been cramped in the _McPherson'_s cargo hold before. The humans were pragmatic people, Ysa liked that trait. What she didn't like was their tendency to stomp over everything in their way, even when they were trying to help. She remembered rudely being pushed away from Neria by the human medics. Humans were strange. Sometimes, they'd honestly be trying to be polite, then charge and yell at you the very next moment. They behaved like hanar crossbred with krogans. Likeable, but annoying at times. Ysa felt their curious looks on her, some of them discontent. She heard them whispering about her.

"Look, a quarian. I never saw one of those in person before. Weird suit, that."

"Damn them all! _They_ created the fucking geth that just blew our home to shreds and turned our buddies into monsters!"

"Oh, leave her alone, look at her, she's just a kid! She's not responsible for what her grand-grand-grand-parents did centuries ago!"

"I still won't trust them!"

At least some humans seemed to have brains in their bulky heads, Ysa noted, as she walked on. She certainly was not responsible for the geth's creation. But what responsibility did she have...? She absentmindedly looked at the two tubes of dextro nutrient paste in her hands, she had cooked and prepared herself from turian ingredients. It still had to be sterilized for her to eat, so she was heading for the sterilizer unit in the field hospital. But she realized that she wasn't hungry at all. She was just tired. Terribly tired.

"Keelah, gotta sit down, just for a moment..." she muttered to herself.

She sat down to the ground, leaning her back to a large supply crate, breathing heavily. She felt like fainting, where did that come from? Shivers shook her and it all just crashed down on her, as she started sobbing. She cried, like she never had before in her life. All that death and suffering so close to her, sorrow burning like acid in her soul. Her mind went blank when she cried out all her pain.

"Hey, easy, easy! Can I help you? Do you need something?"

Ysa felt a hand on her shoulder. A human man knelt in front of her, looking at her with a concerned expression.

"Don't touch me! Leave me! Go away!" Ysa screamed, haggardly pushing the hand away.

"Okay, okay! I'm sorry! I'm leaving."

The human ambled off, sighing, "Poor girl..."

* * *

Indefinitely later, her sobs went dry. She lay on her side with drawn up legs and her eyes closed, listening to her own muffled breath and the whirring sound of her mask's filter systems that were trying to cope with excess moisture. She felt the evening cold creeping into her suit. She didn't care. Then, some sensation, like a weight on her. And warmth. She opened her sore eyes. Someone had put a thermal blanket over her. Blurrily she saw a slender figure sitting a meter away from her, with a blanket around it's narrow shoulders. A salarian?

"What..? Who's there?" she croaked.

"It's just me, Drenon, geologist, remember me? Some human told me you're out here. You were freezing. I was afraid to touch you, though. Earlier on, you appeared... disturbed."

"Tha-Thank you. I'm sorry, don't know what came over me..."

"Oh, I know. I heard quarians are emotional people. Dealing with death and distress, must be difficult for you."

Ysa sat up slowly, putting the blanket around her shoulders like the salarian. She felt numb and worn out, but also strangely calm.

"Yeah, it sucks, you know. How do you cope with all this crap?"

"Oh, have to. Too much mourning is a waste of time. To us salarians, death is always close, in a way. We have to move on quickly, cherish the time. Leaving the sorrow behind."

"I wish I could forget that quickly. "

"No, not forgetting it. Probably we're just quicker repressing it.", he smiled faintly.

"I know what you mean. And, you know, we quarians are also always close to death, in a way. We're just better at hiding it.", she pointed to her helmet.

"Yes. Inconvenient, but useful, isn't it?"

"Yeah, inconvenient it sure is. But useful for not dying, at least...", she cleared her throat, "How are the others doing?"

"Oh, the asari were just meditating for hours, quite boring to look at. Tak, the volus, is busy calculating financial losses. The turians are cleaning their weapons, and glowering around. The humans... doing this and that and a lot of unremarkable things."

"Ha, weird bunch those humans aren't they? You never know what they're up to."

"Human behaviour sometimes seems inconsistent, but most of them turn out to be decent people when you get to know them."

"If you say so... Um.. Oh, have you heard of Neria? Did she wake up, yet?"

"No, I'm afraid she's still not stable. The pirates used toxic ammo that caused severe damage in her organs. The asari say that the human doctor is very competent, but he's not sure if she will survive."

"Keelah... I really hope she makes it... Damn those bosh'tets! How could they use toxic ammunition? That's just purely evil!"

"Most pirates are exactly that."

"She was good to me. I don't want her to die..."

"Me neither, Miss Dahan. We can just hope for the best.", he suddenly stood up, "Well, now it's time for me to go back to work. Still have some ore samples to analyse."

"Wait, you're still working now? Here?"

"As I said, we abhor wasting precious time."

"Oh, well then, have a good... work. And thank you, for talking... and not letting me freeze to death."

"You're welcome. Better go back to your tent, the wind's really chilling. Night!"

"Good night, Drenon!"

She got up and picked up her two tubes of nutrient paste she had carelessly dropped before. It still needed to be sterilized. And now she felt a little hungry. So she got back on her way to the field hospital.


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Ysa knew she was dreaming. Quarians always know that. Lucid dreaming is just completely common and normal for them. Still, most don't have any control over the nature of the dreams, an ability she wished for now. Knowing it to be a dream was of no consolation with this particular nightmare.

She held an assault rifle and kept firing and firing, but her unarticulate enemies wouldn't fall or even tumble. They just kept marching forward, blurred in a cloud of dust, unfazed, spreading doom. Ysa noticed her own hands were blue and had five fingers, each. A sniper shot ripped through a kinetic shield to her left. A high pitched scream made her spin around. On the muddy ground lay a broken figure. A quarian with a green veil. Ysa jumped to the lifeless quarian body and cradled it in her arms.

"No! No! Don't you die on me!" she pleaded.

The quarian's broken visor fell off and revealed a face covered in blood. It was Ysa's face. The body's eyes were dead, but it's lips were moving.

"Why are you leaving me, Neria?" asked the body that looked like Ysa.

She wanted to answer, but could just cry in agony. Rocking with the dead body in her arms, lights flashed up around her. She got surrounded by the enemies. They had single, blinding bright flashlights instead of faces.

She abruptly woke up in her tent, with a terrible headache. Slowly she crawled outside and stretched her aching bones, when she noticed an asari standing next to her tent.

"Hey there. Is that you, Rena? How are you? Is there something I can do fo...?", she stopped as the asari turned around and Ysa saw the look in her eyes.

"What's the matter? What happened?"

"Neria died last night.", Rena explained in a sad and serious tone.

* * *

Ysa didn't cry any more. She just felt empty and crushed. For the brief time she had known Neria, she had felt a special kind of bond to her. It felt, like she had lost a close relative. Four hundred years of life, of a history, had come to an end. The fact that Neria was still being considered young within her people, added to the bitterness. But Ysa didn't break down this time. Deep inside, she had accepted the fact already. She just knew she would keep the memory of this special asari forever in her heart. The remaining five asari had laid Neria's body out on a big violet blanket outside in the grass and were sitting in a circle around the body, holding vigil, chanting. It wasn't exactly chanting, more of a humming, as they sat there like in trance. They had opened Neria's eyes to face the sky, so her essence could return to the universe. The other members of the team watched the event from a distance. Ysa noticed the asaris' biotics occasionally briefly flaring up. She wasn't exactly sure what was going on, but she didn't care. All she knew was that she wanted to honour Neria, too and say a last goodbye to her. She moved close to the circle, then between two of the asari. They sensed her presence and looked at her, wondering. But then they moved a little aside to make room for Ysa to sit among them in the circle. They continued humming and Ysa felt a compelling sensation of tranquility inside her. When the humming went low for a brief moment, Ysa couldn't help but speak the words. They just came out of her, from her deepest inner conscience.

"Neria Tenakis of the asari, your soul is leaving us. Ancestors, hear our request! Guide her soul through the shoals of dust along the dimming light of stars, beyond the veil of darkness. Ancestor Sal'Kezah vas Benyat, embrace her soul and let her find peace among the shores of eternity. May the light of her wisdom shine in our hearts for all our days."

The asari were staring at her, stunned, but also deeply moved. They looked at each other for a moment, but then nodded.

"So be it.", they concluded.

After the ceremony ended later on, Ysa quietly went off to sit in the grass, some fifty meters away from the camp, shaking her lowered head. A shadow cast over her and she looked up. It was Teyka, one of the asari matrons, who never had talked to her before.

"We want to thank you, Ysa'Dahan."

"You're kidding me, right? I disturbed and desecrated your ceremony! What, in the homeworld's name, was I thinking? I am sorry!"

"We were a little irritated, that's true. But we knew of Nerias fondness, her involvement with quarian culture, although we don't know the exact details. But we are certain she shared it with you. So we are positive, that your words held great honour to her. There will be another, official funeral ceremony on Thessia, once her body is returned. But we here, we feel that your last reverence to her was what she really would have appreciated. It was good. So we thank you."

"I have to thank you, all of you, for letting me participate. It was a great honour, thank you."

Teyka just nodded and left. For the first time in a while, Ysa felt something like a little bit of peace in her heart.

* * *

The next day, word was across the camp, that the systems alliance third fleet had arrived in the cluster and engaged the geth in intersystem space. The human's mood lightened up quite a bit with that, as she could hear them cheering across the camp.

"Hooray! Finally those geth bastards get their damn synthetic asses kicked!"

"Third fleet's Admiral Singh's! He's a daredevil! He'll shred them to pieces!"

"Hey quarian, mind if we blow up some of your robots?", one of the men asked Ysa.

"No, not at all. But keep in mind, that we also once thought we could easily defeat them. Then we almost got annihilated. And they had three hundred years time to evolve since then. So, I hope your soldiers are careful. Hubris can be deadly, when dealing with geth."

"Ha, don't wet your suit, kiddo. We humans are tougher than we look. Your turian buddies over there can tell you something about that, eh?"

"Damn right.", the human woman next to him agreed.

Ysa tilted her head, "I hope you are tough enough for the geth. And as far as I know, you did not beat the turians, but a peace treaty was brokered by the council. Otherwise the war would have been much longer and bloodier. As much as I hope for it, I doubt such a treaty can be made with the geth. They are not known to be negotiating."

With that she turned and left.

"Precocious brat.", the woman muttered.

"Yeah, but she's not dumb. You saw those synthetic bastards, they don't know fear or pain...", Ysa heard before getting out of reach.


	6. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

The _Ardelaza_ had just returned with the supplies. The team was quite happy to greet the asari pilot Enith, who was completely oblivious of what had happened and quite shocked about the situation she found. She was damn lucky she'd been to the human colony Karman's Rest and not through the mass relay in the opposite direction, in which case the geth would surely have captured the defenceless little freighter. Yet another victim of survivor's guilt to be consoled. At least now the team members could get home on their own.

Ysa was washing the dishes after breakfast, together with Merrash. Three of the humans were cleaning up on the opposite side of the mess tent. She still didn't quite get to chum up with them, for they still appeared uncongenial and intimidating to her. More so than the turians, who, despite their towering and menacing appearance, were very composed and self-controlled people. Well, except Letanus. But he had become rather quiet since the assault. So Ysa mostly kept herself to her team. She liked being around the salarian scientists. Aside from their bustle demeanor, they were pleasant and kind fellows. Merrash helped her out in the kitchen and mess tents. He was a biochemist, who seemed to enjoy cooking as well, although he wasn't exactly talented at it. But she enjoyed his company, for they shared a somewhat similar interest for biology. He just had a much more scientific and analytical view of things. Ysa had always tried to remind him to see the beauty of nature behind his data, equations and statistical analysis. But since the assault, their talks had sadly become much more sombre.

"Did you hear that rumour? The humans say there's word on the extranet that the geth are commanded by a rogue spectre.", Merrash said next to her.

"Really? A council spectre? I can't believe that. Last time the geth followed the orders of organics was more than three hundred years ago." Ysa replied sceptically.

"Maybe he found a way to reprogram them?"

"Hm. I have no clue about that technical stuff. But I doubt it. My people created the geth, we knew everything about them, and we tried that time and again without success. So, that story sounds like bullshit to me."

"Probably. It's just a rumour. Not that the council would confirm it, if it were true."

"Yeah, all this is weird. As far as I know, the geth didn't leave from beyond the perseus veil for that last three hundred years. Something must have made them change their mind. Well, I'm not sure I even want to know..."

"Yes, it's not up to us to solve that mystery."

* * *

The human fleet was said to be 'victorious'. Which in fact meant that the geth had just left the cluster without firing a single shot. Ysa was quite sure they didn't leave out of fear. It rather seemed that they had something else on their agenda than skirmish with the human fleet. Another mystery that shouldn't be her concern. The only mystery for her to solve now, was where to go. After the unfortunate ending of the expedition, her contract had _effectively_ ended too, as Tak Unap explained to her, regretfully. And after this disaster, another expedition would be out of the question for quite some time. But he paid her off for the past two months and added a bonus of one thousand credits that Neria had disposed for her. Ysa stood there, watching the credit chit in her hand, dumbfounded. A tear in her eye, she looked at the sky, thanking Neria. This bonus alone was enough to buy a passage to wherever she wanted to go. The remaining team members would return to Thessia. But that wasn't an option for Ysa, as getting entry clearance for Thessia was next to impossible without employment permit, which was damn well impossible to obtain for a common quarian like her. She had no idea where to go. Maybe some agrarian colony somewhere. She cursed herself for the umpteenth time. _Planning_ things had never been her strength, among, well, too many things that weren't her strength, either. On the flotilla, one doesn't need to plan things. Everything has it's place and everything people do is just routine. Then again, the pilgrimage was meant to change exactly this way of narrowed thinking.

She went on to return to her tent for her break. It was located at the upper border of the camp, where it had a nice view over the landscape. But the view was now a bit blemished by the still smoking wreckage of the pirates' vessel. Before she arrived at her tent, she perceived the noise of fierce quarreling along the path, from a pile of crates containing the team's archaeological equipment. There was a human and one of the turians she recognized as Letanus. He appeared irate. He had always been easily irritable, but she had never seen him like this. The human was a young man, a rather small one compared to the other men she had seen in the camp. His clothes were different, too. Somehow he didn't seem to belong with the others. He looked somewhat familiar, but she couldn't remember encountering him before.

He held his hands up defensively, "Listen, once again, I didn't want to steal it, okay!? That damn crate stood here in the middle of the path, I just wanted to pull it out of the way, before someone would fall over it! If I wanted to steal, why would I do that in the bright daylight?"

"I'm tired of your lies human! You're all damn crooks and thugs! I know your kind! I lost my sister to you humans at 314!"

"What? In the first contact war? I wasn't even born back then!"

Letanus suddenly charged at the young man and grabbed his neck, drawing a knife from his belt with the other hand.

"You humans all deserve a lesson! I won't forgive that easily any more!"

He brought the knife closer to the face of the terrified human.

"Letanus! What are you doing? Put that knife down!", Ysa yelled at him.

"None of your business, quarian. Get out of here, before you get hurt, too!"

Ysa didn't retreat, but grabbed the turian's arm holding the knife.

"Stop that right now, damnit! What's the matter with you, Letanus? HEY PEOPLE HELP!", she yelled towards the camp centre down the path.

Letanus just shoved her away and she fell into the mud. He turned to the human again, cold fire burning in his eyes.

"Don't! Please! You can't do that!", the human pleaded.

Suddenly a metal crate hit the turian to the side of his head and he fell to the ground. Ysa stood there, upset and gasping, with the heavy crate still in her hands above her head. She dropped it awkwardly, staring at the groaning turian.

"Hey, thank you! Come on, let's get outta here!", the human grabbed her hand, turning to run back down the path. Ysa was still shocked and turned to run with him, without even thinking.

They didn't get far, as they almost crashed into two other turians running towards them. Ysa and the human froze in place, but the turians just ran past them to Letanus, who was about to stand up again. They took his arms firmly, holding him tight and seemingly trying to appease him.

Ysa put her hands to her helmet, "Keelah... Keelah... I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!", she lamented.

"It's ok! Don't worry! We saw what happened. You did the right thing, Ysa!"

It was Tarras, who appeared next to her, limping with a crutch.

"We should have known something like that was about to happen. Maybe we just didn't want to see the telltale signs. Letanus has been unstable for quite a while. He is old and been through a lot. We suspect he has a kind of elder's rage. It's rare, but it happens to elder turians. The stress of those last days must have tipped him over the edge. So... We have to apologize! We should have kept an eye on him."

"Tarras, I... I'm still so sorry. I didn't know what to do! I hope I didn't hurt him badly!"

"He'll be ok. We turians have hard skulls. See? He can walk again. So don't feel guilty, ok? You did exactly the right thing. And you boy, you owe her!"

The two other turians took Letanus between them, heading to the field hospital. Tarras followed them limping, but still surprisingly agile with his crutch.

Ysa sighed deeply and shook her head, "Poor Letanus... I used to think what a bosh'tet he is, but he's just ill... Keelah..."

The human looked at her from the side.

"Hey... The turian is right. I owe you. A lot. You saved my life! Thank you! My name's Colin. Colin Zeleny.", he reached his hand out to her.

Ysa turned to him, looking at his hand. She took his hand oddly, as if she didn't know what to do with it. He smiled at her and shook her hand slowly.

"Oh, ok, you're welcome.", she said softly.

She took a closer look at him. He was of small stature, at about 1.70 meters not much taller than Ysa and rather slim. He had light skin, short brown hair, friendly looking brown eyes and some freckles. His light clothes looked leisure and clean, much unlike the dark overalls the other humans were wearing. Ysa couldn't exactly tell a human's age, but he appeared rather young to her. And she couldn't help the feeling of him being familiar, somehow.

"Um.. Have we met before?", she asked him.

"Oh, you don't remember? Some days ago, you were sitting down there. You appeared distraught... I asked you if I could help, but well..."

"Oh.. that were you? I forgot. I'm sorry. I couldn't think straight, then... Sorry..", now she really felt embarrassed. "Ok, I should go now..."

"Hey wait! What's your name?"

"Why would you want to know?"

"Why? Because you just saved my life! So, of course I'd like to know who you are, if I'm going to tell someone the story of the quarian heroine saving me from a raging turian!"

"Oh.. okay... Come to think of it, I never saved someone's life before... Wow, now I'm a heroine!", she uttered tongue-in-cheek with a quirky giggle. She felt really stupid now.

"Erm, my name is Ysa'Dahan nar Shellen."

"Pleased to meet you, Miss Dahan nar Shellen."

"Oh, just Ysa is okay."

"Colin's okay, too."

"Okay, Colin..."

"..."

"Oh, watch out... There's awkward silence lurking ahead.", he chuckled.

"What?"

"Hey, why don't we go to the mess tent? We can have a drink and talk, rather than standing around out here?"

He smiled, raised his brows and pointed down the path with his thumb.

Ysa shrugged. "Okay."

She didn't know what made her join him. He was... interesting, Ysa thought. What? _Human_ and _interesting_ were two words that wouldn't fit in one sentence to her, before. And that in itself was... interesting. She really had to sort out a few things in her cluttered mind. She shook her head. Colin saw that from the corner of his eyes and grinned sheepishly.


	7. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

When they reached the mess tent, Ysa hesitated to go inside.

"What is it? Forgot something?", Colin asked her.

"No, it's just.. I fell into the mud up there. I should clean my suit before sitting down in there, what do you think?"

She turned her back to him. He couldn't help staring at her bottom.

"I think yeah! I mean, yes, you better do that, I'll wait here."

She gave him a bemused look and headed for the lavatory tents. Again, he couldn't help throwing another glance at her. Her short figure was slightly pear-shaped with small breasts and quite wide hips. But with that flat belly and those strong, curved legs she didn't look chubby, either. Not overwhelmingly attractive, but very feminine and appealing to him. This quarian girl was... interesting.

'Wait... _quarian_ and _interesting_ in one sentence? Mysterious, yeah, but interesting? What am I thinking? She's an alien, dammit. But then again, a really nice alien, apparently...', he mused.

Lost in thought, he didn't even notice it took more than fifteen minutes for her to return. Together they entered the mess tent. Colin found a bottle of beer in the fridge and Ysa got herself a sealed bottle of sterilized mineral water. They sat down at a table in the corner of the tent. There were just two humans absorbed in a game of chess on the opposite side of the tent. Ysa connected the bottle to her masks port and took a draught from the little straw that extended from it to her mouth, then put it back on the table.

"Sorry for the delay, I just stopped by the field hospital, to check on Letanus. He seems to be ok, they gave him some tranquilizer. He said sorry to me and asked me to relay his apologies to you."

"Thanks. I'm really sorry for all that, too. Stupid of me to mess with your stuff. It's just that I almost broke my neck over that damn crate."

"It's okay, I think. But what were you doing up there anyway?"

"Just walking. I was bored. Can't wait to get off this planet, to go home."

"Oh, but I heard the colony was destroyed? You're going to rebuild?"

"What? No, I'm not from the mining colony! I don't look like a miner, do I?"

"You sure look different. I was wondering. So you're not with them? What were you doing there?"

"I'm a pilot. Small freelance freight business. I have my little freighter still waiting for me back at Nova Macedonia. I just came there to drop some goods when those geth showed up. I had to leave it there, cause with all the geth lurking out there, would have been a little bit too dangerous cruising around in that thing. I'm glad it didn't get hit in the fight. Well, when we left, it was still in one piece."

"So you have your own ship? That's not bad."

"Yeah, it's convenient. It's a bit smaller than that asari freighter over there. It's an Ilyushin IS-622, 50 metric tons payload capacity. It's not exactly the most recent model, but it's homey and damn reliable. The russians know how to build durable things."

"Russians? I never heard of that species..."

"Ha, it's not a species. It's a human people, back on earth. We still have different cultures among our species. Although it's not that apparent any more, especially in the colonies."

"Oh, ok. I haven't met that many humans, yet."

"I hope you didn't think we're all like those miners. I mean, they're ok, but quite gruff."

"That they are. I should have known. 'Heavy labour makes harsh people' - old quarian saying... Well, and ah, where is your home? You're from Earth?"

"No. Horizon. You heard of it? No? It's a nice little colony out in the Terminus. Good climate, really. My brother has a farm there."

"Sounds beautiful..."

"Yeah, it is. Ok, now enough talk about me. What about you? You're on pilgrimage I presume?"

"Yes, you know about that? Ah, you see I'm a gardener..."

She told him about her job and the story of her journey from the citadel to Thimaya and the events of the pirate assault. He listened attentively. She noticed that he was looking directly into her eyes, not just at the helmet. The last and only person to do so during her pilgrimage had been Neria. It should have made her nervous, but it didn't. Curious.

"Wow, and I thought I got it bad. I didn't get to see the fighting at all, we had bunkered down in a storage room, until the Alliance soldiers arrived. When we came out, it was all over already... and I didn't really know the people, there. So, now I can understand why you were crying. I'm also not really the warrior type, as you can clearly see. I'm pretty sure I'd been devastated, too, in your place."

"Yeah, I felt like a pathetic coward. I'm not sure I'll get over that anytime soon."

"You're not a coward! When you faced that mad raging turian, that was really brave!"

"You think that? No, I mean, I didn't feel brave. I've known Letanus for two months. He's a team member. He'd always been grumpy, but never hostile. So... I just tried to bring him to his senses again."

"With a heavy crate."

"Um, you know, I didn't see all that many options, then. I just acted without thinking!"

"And the way you acted was very brave, in my humble opinion. And hey, lifting that heavy thing, you're really a lot stronger than you look like!"

"Ok, thank you. I know, I'm a 'heroine'. You're not trying to flatter me, are you?"

"Just a little bit.", he smiled, "So, where will you go now?"

"Honestly? I have no clue. I thought about some agrarian colony, maybe."

"Well, Horizon is an agrarian colony."

"Yes, but... Um, you mean I could go there?"

"Sure, why not? We've got autonomy. It's an independent colony within the Alliance, at least politically. Won't be such a bureaucratic hassle for you to get residence permit. I mean, I could take you under contract, then you get the papers in no time. We're still a small colony, I know the admin people by name. I'm tired of flying alone all the time, anyway. Hey, you know a lot about grocery? Sometimes, I transport, buy and sell such stuff as secondary business, too. But it's always a hassle for me to manage these things, such as what species likes what kind of fruit, what's the storage life, and so on. So, I'd be grateful for a little help. And when we're on shore leave on Horizon, maybe you can give my brother a hand on the farm."

She looked at him bewildered. She felt just like two months ago, when she had met Neria on the Citadel. This situation felt awkwardly alike.

"You'd hire me, just like that? You don't even know me."

"But I'd like to get to know you. And well, you saved my life. How could I make up for that? So, what do you think?"

She couldn't think of anything to say for a moment. The human was basically asking her for her permanent company. He appeared really likeable up to now. But could they get along for a long time? And did he have some ulterior motive? No, he seemed to be completely honest. Could that work? Could she trust him, just like that? She felt like she could hear Neria laughing, that warm and sincere laughter, somewhere in her head. 'Follow your heart...'

"I, well... I guess that sounds good."

"There's a sticking point, though.", he scratched his chin nervously, a little embarrassed.

"Oh. Like what?"

"I can't pay you all that much. I get by quite okay, but I'm not exactly getting rich. I'm not doing any illegal stuff, you see? Well, okay, sometimes I'm smuggling some cigarettes to the batarians, but well, no big deal. So, um, it won't be more than, say, 45 credits after tax per standard galactic day. There's some bills to pay, you know. Fuel, maintenance, docking fees, taxes, you get the idea. I just hope you don't feel like I'm a damn slaver, or something."

"I think that's ok. Right now, I'd take any job, anyway. Back on the Citadel, I was about to be willing to clean toilets. So I'm ok with this."

"Hey, with your help, if business gets along well, there'll surely be a raise in it for you!", he said enthusiasticly and looked relieved.

Ysa took a breath, shrugged and straightened herself.

"Ok. Then... I'm in, I think."

"Great! Welcome aboard! So to speak...", he reached his hand out to her.

She shook his hand. Why did those humans have such a knack for shaking hands all time? But somehow, she enjoyed his warm, firm grip. His hands were small and soft, she felt through her glove. Then he grabbed his bottle of beer and held it out to her. She was puzzled.

"Thanks, but I can't drink that, sorry.", she apologized.

"What? No, it's... I wanted to clink bottles with you!"

"Why would we do that?"

Now he was puzzled. "Erm, it's a human custom, we do that, to, um, show agreement, you know. Just hold your bottle like this."

"Okay. If you say so."

He clinked his bottle to hers and took a sip. Human customs were strange. She had to learn a lot about them now, Ysa realized.

Colin put down the bottle and smiled brightly, "There's a personnel carrier inbound from the fleet to take the mining people back to Earth. It's said to arrive tomorrow afternoon. They'll drop us off on Nova Macedonia, then."

"Hm. My team, well, former team will leave this evening, maybe they could give you a lift. Us, I mean. I'll go and ask Enith.", Ysa said and got up.

"That'd be nice! It's on the way to the mass relay, anyway!", he almost cheered.

Ysa glanced at him once again. He wasn't particularly handsome. But with his rather slight stature, he almost appeard like a quarian to her, from an angle. She couldn't get rid of that feeling, to be intrigued by him.

No, _bad_ idea! She shouldn't even dare to consider to start to think in such a way. About an _alien_, for crying out loud!

'No, I wouldn't be that stupid, would I?', she thought.

Once again, Neria's kind laughter echoed in her mind.

'Oh, just shut up!', she snapped at the ghost in her head.


	8. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Getting a lift turned out to be no problem at all, as Ysa had expected. The team was actually very happy that Ysa joined them on that last flight, for she offered to cook a farewell meal for them. When they pulled up stakes and loaded all the equipment, Ysa went to take some more photos with her omni-tool. Of the landscape, the team, her little tent. Even if it was tainted, she still wanted to keep the memory of this place and the two preceding happy months. When they finally boarded, she tried not to look at the eight body bags in the cargo bay. The pain was still there.

Dezeria, the asari paramedic, confined Letanus to the medbay as a precaution, while Colin was around. But when Ysa gave Letanus a visit, she found him getting a lot better since in treatment.

"Hey, Letanus. How are you holding up?"

"Better. I feel much better. The stuff Dezeria is feeding me makes me a little light-headed, but I can think straight again. Listen, I'm still sorry for what happened, I was out of control, I feel ashamed for that. Thank you, Ysa, for keeping me from doing something horrible."

"It's ok, Letanus. Don't mention it. I... in fact I came here to thank _you_!"

"What...? What for?"

"For being there at the right time and the right place. Even if you were out of your mind. So... thank you! Farewell Letanus, be well and take care!"

With that, she waved and left the confused turian.

The dinner was nice, but quiet. They all felt rather sad, for the mess hall felt a little empty now, without their lost friends. But everyone seemed to enjoy the meal. Ysa had tried really hard to serve them something special: Fried asari nithaa-fruits with salarian renras-steaks and a fruity sauce of Ysa's own creation for the levos, and for the turians and herself she did their favorite food, grilled gamakas-fish with turian rice. Of course, for herself she had blended, sterilized and filled it into tubes.

Across the table, Ysa noticed Colin peeking at her every now and then with a little smile. 'Why is he doing that?' she thought, but then realized she did just the same as well. But Colin perceived the sad mood of the team and thus kept rather quiet, too. When the dinner ended, they didn't skimp on praise for Ysa's cooking. Ysa thanked them all and even made a bow, so the mood lightened up a little again. Enith announced they'd reach Nova Macedonia in nine hours, so everyone went to sleep. Ysa cleaned up the galley and the mess hall with Rena and Merrash who insisted on helping her with that. When she went for her sleeper pod, she saw Colin was already asleep. She stopped by for just a second, to look at his relaxed face through the glass.

"Like what you see?", Rena asked behind her with a snicker.

Ysa jumped a little, "What? No! I mean, it's just that he's my new boss. I hope we'll get along."

"Uh huh, well, I have no doubt about that. I sense... chemistry.", she giggled now.

"Oh, shove it, squid-head! You... mechanic! The hell you know about chemistry?"

"No offence! Did I just hit a soft spot, suity-sweety?", Rena laughed and closed her sleeper pod.

Damn. No, Ysa wouldn't allow herself to see him as anything but her employer, a business partner, maybe even a friend, someday. But not more. If it were any different, the outcome would most likely be dire. For both of them. She was quite certain about that.

* * *

When the _Ardelaza_ reached Nova Macedonia nine hours later, Colin was standing at the window of the little observation lounge, watching the ugly brown planet they were approaching. Ysa joined him quietly.

"There we are.", Colin said when he noticed her presence, "Still the same pile of scrap we left down there."

The _Ardelaza_ fired the landing thrusters, descending to the ruined colony. The buildings were really in bad shape, disfigured by impact craters.

"See, over there by the storage building? That's my ship, the _Koriolan_, in all her glory! Damn lucky the geth went for the living quarters, instead. Well, lucky for me. Not for the people there... oh dammit.", he choked on the words, lowering his gaze.

"It's okay, Colin, I know that feeling all too well.", Ysa said, trying to resist the urge to put her arm around his shoulders.

The _Koriolan_ looked different from the _Ardelaza_, it had just one deck instead of two, but overall it was a little wider and longer. It had a simple rectangular shape, built with nothing but efficiency and durability in mind.

The _Ardelaza_ touched down on the landing pad next to that of the human freighter. Colin, Ysa and her former team gathered at the Airlock. They exchanged their goodbyes and Rena even hugged Ysa tightly.

"Take care sweety! We'll all miss you! Stay safe, and write every now and then, ok? You've got my address at Serrice.", she got closer to Ysa's helmet and whispered: "And watch the cute boy over there, he's got something on his mind. You that is. But if he gives you any trouble, just call me, ok?"

"Rena, please!"

"It's okay! Just in case, you know.", she smiled and went back to the others.

"Thank you so much, all of you, it was an honour working with you! Goodbye and farewell!", Ysa said aloud, adressing the whole team.

Then, surprisingly, Teyka went up to her, holding something in her hands.

"Ysa, we found this among Neria's personal belongings. Obviously, she intended to give it to you."

She handed a small square metal box to Ysa, about 20 by 20 centimeters in size. Curiously Ysa looked at the elaborate asari handwriting on it's cover. The translator VI in her visor transcribed the words to quarian. 'For Ysa'Dahan nar Shellen' it simply said. She held it in her shaking hands, not daring to open it, yet. She'd do that later in private, she decided.

"Thank you. Goodbye Teyka."

She put the little box in her bag and headed for the airlock, joining Colin, who had already put on a rebreather mask. He also carried a big box with dextro nutrient paste tubes and some beverages for Ysa. He instisted on carrying it for her, mimicking the perfect gentleman, which made Ysa just shake her head in embarassment again. She checked the internal emergency oxygen supply of her suit. Twenty minutes left, not much without an additional oxygen tank, but it would be more than sufficient for the short walk. They entered the airlock, the doors closed behind them and Ysa activated her internal oxygen supply.

"Ready?", Colin asked.

"Yes, I'm ready.", she replied.

He pressed a button on the airlock control and after a short decontamination cycle, the air pressure equalized with the exterior atmosphere. He pressed another button and the outer door opened. When they went down the ramp, they were greeted by an eerie silence. Just some weak winds were stirring the toxic atmosphere. The landscape was a rocky, lifeless wasteland. Ysa couldn't imagine living in a daunting place like this. Colin didn't waste any time and headed over to his ship, with her following close on. On the way, Ysa encountered something that made her cringe. A geth. Or rather half a geth. It was dead, obviously, it's flashlight eye dark and blind.

"Damn, I never saw a geth before, other than on pictures. It's scary!", she uttered.

"Yeah, nasty bugger, that. Just the upper torso, fortunately. I guess that huge explosion the soldiers set off in the main building catapulted it here. Come on, let it rot here."

The most unnerving thing about it was, that it didn't actually look threatening. The simple and elegant shapes of quarian design were still there. Three hundred years had passed and still the geth shared the same basic design. Why did they never bother to change it, if they wanted to break away from their creators? Couldn't they look whatever way they chose? Ysa realized that trying to fathom the geth's way of thinking was utterly futile.

They approached Colin's ship. It appeared old, but well maintained and not shoddy at all. _'Koriolan'_ read the big white human letters on it's side, and below that in green letters '_Zeleny & Son Transport Co._'

"Zeleny and son?", Ysa asked, confused, "You have a son?"

"Ha, no, I _am_ the son."

"Oh, and where's your father?"

"He's gone. He died.", he replied with a sad tone.

"Oh. I'm sorry. I didn't..."

"Never mind, I'll tell you later, ok?"

"Yes, of course."

He approached the rear cargo airlock and opened the control panel, entering his personal code. With a creaking noise the loading ramp came down.

"Damn, gonna have to lubrify that thing again.", he muttered.

They entered the vessel and after repressurizing the rear compartment, he took off his rebreather mask, taking in a deep breath.

"Ah, home sweet home." he smiled again, "Ew, that gas this bloody rock has for air stinks! Let's get out of this miserable place! Come on, cockpit's this way."

They let the cargo bay behind, walking through the engine room and then into a central corridor that led to the cockpit at the ship's angular bow. On the way, Ysa marveled the strange interior. She stopped by and touched a wall panel, the material looked strangely organic to her.

"What is this?", she asked curiously.

"Admiring the interior design? It's pinewood. Homey, ain't it? It's just a cover over the metal wall, so you don't get to believe the whole ship's made of wood!", he chuckled.

"Wood! From trees? That's... I've never seen anything like this, before! But it does look, hm, natural. I think I like it. We actually have some trees on the _Shellen_, but using the wood as a wall cover never occured to us.", she smiled behind her faceplate.

They reached the cockpit and Colin put his jacket over the left pilot's seat. He gestured Ysa to sit down in the seat to his right.

"Hey baby, I'm back again! Missed me?", he said to the holographic console that lit up in front of him. Ysa chuckled at that.

'He's talking to his ship like it's his girlfriend. Well, if he used to fly alone all the time... not surprising he's gotten a little weird.', she thought amused.

But she had to admire the way he used the control interface. His skilful fingers were rushing over the holographic matrix so fast, she couldn't comprehend at all what he was doing.

"Main engine eezo core up and running... Output at 60% stable, engaging thrusters... And off we go!", he cheered.

The engines made quite some roaring noise and vibrations shook Ysa. This thing ran a whole lot rougher than the asari vessel, for sure. But Ysa was quite okay with that, as this was much more reminiscent of what she was used to back in the migrant fleet.

When they left the doomed colony behind them and the planet shrank to a point on the rear view monitor, they both felt quite relieved.

"FTL drive running stable and smoothly. Heading on target for the mass relay, ETA 8 hours. I'll set the VI to auto-pilot.", he leaned over to Ysa, "Now, you in for a little tour of the ship? Oh, and then we'll have to set up your cabin, of course."

"My... I'll have my own cabin?"

"Of course! What did you think? You thought I'd let you sleep in the cargo bay on the floor, or what?", he laughed and shook his head, "Come, I'll show you around!"

"Yeah, I'd like that."


	9. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Colin spread his arms, slowly turning around.

"So, let's start right here, this is - you might have already noticed - the cockpit! The throne room of my little kingdom! Um... Ok, here we have displays, controls, more controls, lots of buttons you should not touch... lots of buttons _nobody_ should touch... And here's the navigational console. You can bring up the galaxy map, zoom in and out like this, get info about any planet of your liking. Nice way to kill off time, when you're bored. Oh, and there in that corner is a fire extinguisher, in case the power grid has a really bad day again. Um, just kidding..."

Ysa giggled, "Hey, I grew up on a ship, I know emergency protocols!"

"Ok, no offence! You're a spacer after all, I know. So that's about it here, let's go on."

They went out of the cockpit, behind it's bulkhead.

"Here we have the front docking airlock to your right, and to your left in that compartment there's mystery electronics stuff and lots of cable spaghetti. Do not mess with that, unless you really know what you're doing."

"Ok, I think I can keep myself away from that. I hope you don't expect me to work on the tech stuff?"

"Nah, that's my department, don't worry. Ok, next we have mess room and galley."

"That'll be my department. May I check the provisions?"

"Of course. But... I'm afraid the stock situation is not the best right now, especially dextro-amino-wise. But we'll restock soon. On Bakaris, I think. There's a turian market, there. You may find some things you like."

Ysa rummaged through the galley's cupboards and then the storage closet.

"That'll be nice. Hm, beans... more beans, corn, tomatoes, canned bacon, noodles... Oh.. What's this?"

"Capers. They go nice with certain spaghetti sauces."

"Ah. Ok, Truth be told, I didn't do that much human cuisine up to now. I remember, during my training, I did that, what's it called... pizza?"

"Yeah, humanity's greatest invention since the wheel. I like pizza, you could do that? I think there's some flour left somewhere in there."

"Sure. Of course I have a whole lot more levo recipes on my omni-tool. So, from now on, you're not in danger to starve any more."

"Well, I can cook a little, too. Had to survive on my own for quite a while now, you know? So, maybe I can cook something for you, sometime?"

"Oh, you don't need to! But if you really want to, why not? But, be aware, dextro cooking is tricky. You've got to watch temperatures closely, otherwise you'll ruin the taste."

"Okay, I'll try my best. But today... If you cook for me, what will you eat?"

"I have my nutrient paste, you brought it here yourself, remember?"

"Yeah, I just thought, it's a pity we can't eat the same food... I mean, I'd feel awkward eating tasty pizza, when all you have is your paste..."

"Oh. No, that's ok! I made the paste myself! So, don't worry, it actually does have a taste! And... you don't need to concern yourself about me that much, ok?"

"Sorry, can't do that. You're my crew now - my only crewmember at that! So your well-being is my primary concern from now on.", he said in a very serious tone.

Ysa laughed, he was so nice! She had a hard time resisting the urge to hug him.

"I appreciate that, my captain. Um. Ok, shall we go on?"

"Yeah, sure. But don't call me _captain_, just Colin will do. I feel awkward otherwise."

"Afraid of the responsibility?"

"Yeah, a little. I'd rather like to consider you as... an associate."

"Oh, wow. I'm just aboard for an hour, I don't even have my contract yet, and already get promoted? At that pace I'll be captain tomorrow!"

"Sure, suit yourself! Um, pardon the pun!", he laughed.

She tilted her head in mock disapproval, but snickered. He was weird, but in a funny way. Gradually, her concerns if they'd get along vanished. They continued to the crew cabins.

"So, here to your left, that's my cabin. The one opposite to it will be yours. Come have a look! Sorry, it's a little dusty, The room hasn't been in use for quite a while."

He opened the door for her and switched on the light. It was a square cabin, about four by four meters in size. It featured the same wooden wall paneling as the corridor, so it looked quite cosy. It had a desk with a terminal, a comfortable looking armchair, a sofa under the window, a wardrobe in the wall next to it, and a shelf that was stuffed with what looked like electronic spare parts.

"Oh, I'll have to clear that shelf. Damn, that stuff piles up everywhere... Ok. That's a convertible sofa-bed, just press this button at it's side and it'll turn into a quite comfortable bed."

Ysa was astonished. She spinned around slowly. This was all hers?

"Wow, just wow! You'll laugh, but I never had such a big room all for myself! Back on the flotilla, I had to share a room smaller than this with three others!"

"I'm happy to see you're pleased with it! It's your own little realm now! But it really needs some cleaning. I'll help you with that, later on."

"Please, you don't need to!"

"But I want to. And you wouldn't know how to sort and where to store those spare parts anyway."

"Ok, if you say so... But I feel a little... um, like you're pampering me, aren't you?"

"I haven't even started yet! Oh, by the way, I forgot there's something missing here. Wait a moment!"

He dashed out. 'What's he up to now?', Ysa wondered, doodling her name into the dust on the desk. 'My own cabin. And directly opposite to his? So, it's the same size as his? Incredible!'

Colin returned, holding something out to her that made her jaw drop. A potted flower. But not any flower, she instantly recognized.

"Here, something to make this place a little more personal, for starters.", he said with a bright smile.

"Wow, it's from Thimaya, I loved these! How did you know? And how did you bring it here?"

"That asari, Rena, told me you liked that flower. So, I dug one out. Hid it in a plastic bag in the box with your food, there was a little room left. Just had to put it into a pot, well, that's actually an empty oil can. But of course I cleaned it before. Um..."

He handed her the flower. She gazed at the big blue blossom.

"Thank you, it's beautiful!"

She put it on the desk. And this time she couldn't resist. She hugged him. Just briefly. But he returned the hug, just a tiny bit too tightly to be considered formal. She looked into his eyes, trying to read those strange, dark human eyes. Could it be that... No. Impossible. She looked down and turned to the desk again. Her cheeks were on fire.

He cleared his throat. "Erm. I'm glad you like it! I hope it won't wither in here. I'm not sure the light's sufficient."

"Yeah, I don't know, either. I know a lot of plants, but this one is completely foreign to me. So, we'll see... Well... You know, you just turned a quarian tradition upside down! I'm the one who's supposed to present a gift to the captain, to join his crew."

"Oh, that's ok. I just received your gift a minute ago.", he grinned sheepishly.

"What do you mean? Oh... Ok, I see.", she snorted, "You're modest. That's a quarian's highest virtue."

"Ha, thanks. Now, _I_ feel flattered!"

"You're welcome. And heck, I'm not the traditionalist type anyway...", she laughed.

"Me neither, I think. So, shall we continue? Touring the ship, I mean."

"Ok, lead the way."

They went into the corridor again.

"So, the next cabin is repurposed as a storage for spare parts, yeah, even more of those. We'll put the parts from your cabin in here. The next rooms are the shower to your left and toilet to your right. Erm, Unisex, I'm afraid... But clean, I promise!"

"Oh, actually I'd need to... Excuse me for a moment?"

"Of course! I'll wait."

She went into the toilet. He waited and scratched his head. 'How... No. Don't even... None of your business, weirdo!', he thought to himself. He heard the toilet flush and another five minutes later Ysa came out to join him again. They went down the corridor into the engine room.

"That's the Eezo core, mass effect conductors and static capacitors. Backup systems over there... Ok, I see I'm boring you."

"Yeah, sorry, the tech stuff is completely over my head. I'm glad when things work, but never grasped how they work. Call me ignorant, if you like."

"Hey, never! I have no clue about raising plants and very little about cooking. If everyone had to know everything, then food would all taste like ass and FTL cores would explode all the time!"

"That's... an interesting point of view. I agree on the FTL core exploding part. That'd surely be happening if I screwed with this thing. So, better let's go on. My very presence could anger this unfathomable machine."

"Ah, don't worry. It won't bite you, it just wants to be your friend!"

They reached the cargo bay and Colin switched on the lights. It looked fairly empty, just five containers, about one by two meters edge length, were standing in the large room.

"What's in these containers?", Ysa asked curiously.

"Beverages mostly. Some beer from Eden prime, Whiskey from earth. Booze always sells well. It's some specialties, only the good stuff. Destined for Horizon. So my people can party on.", he smiled.

"I see. Too bad I can't drink the levo stuff..."

"Oh, you actually drink alcohol?"

"Well, the dextro-equivalent. Yeah, sure, every now and then. But not that much. It's scarce on the flotilla and we can't risk getting too drunk. Having to vomit is a _bad thing_ for us."

"Yeah, with that helmet, you'd suffocate!"

"Actually not. The helmet has a safeguard, If it detects that I'm throwing up, it'll automatically open the visor. I'll get horribly sick, but that's still better than suffocating to death."

"I see. Ok, let's change the topic, shall we?"

"Yeah, sorry. It's gross, I know. Quarian health issues always are..."

"Never mind. Hey, here's something I wanted to show you!"

He led her to the front corner of the cargo bay to some sort of robot. It looked like a bulky small forklift with two robotic arms attached to it's sides.

"Loaderbot, activate!", Colin commanded. A yellow lamp lit up on the machine's top.

"LOADING UNIT 73-B READY FOR COMMAND INPUT."

It's voice was raspy, yet annoyingly shrill.

"Ah, may I introduce you? Ysa this is Loaderbot, Loaderbot this is Ysa, say hello to Ysa!"

"LOADING UNIT 73-B ACKNOWLEDGES ENTITY UNIT DESIGNATED AS YSA. HELLO."

"Charming, ain't he?", Colin snickered.

"Very. Couldn't you change the voice, it's ear-piercing!", Ysa complained, tapping at the side of her helmet.

"Nah, not worth the trouble, to twiddle with those ancient, messy circuits. I'm glad he still works. And hey, he's perfect at shooing away nosy passers-by at spaceports! Hey Loaderbot! Attention! Register Ysa for full access!"

"ACKNOWLEDGED. ENTITY UNIT DESIGNATED AS YSA HAS FULL COMMAND AUTHORITY FOR LOADING UNIT 73-B."

"He'll do anything I say, now?"

"Yep, except making decent coffee, but nobody's perfect."

"Loaderbot! Deactivate!", Ysa commanded.

"ACKNOWLEDGED."

It's yellow light went out.

"That's better.", Ysa concluded.

"Oh, you will come to appreciate that ugly old thing if you don't want to carry around those pallets and boxes by yourself. Just remember to give it very detailed commands, such as 'put box 30-A to storage area 12', cause he's obviously dumb as a brick."

"Yeah, even my suit's VI is smarter than that thing."

They returned to the corridor. As they walked down the corridor side by side, Colin occasionally briefly felt her hips brushing his. Did she do that on purpose? He turned to her.

"So, that's it. I hope you enjoyed the tour!"

"Yeah, I like this ship. It's, as you said, 'homey'."

"I'm happy you like it. It could be your home for a long time. I mean, as long as you want."

She nodded slowly. She could really imagine to spend a long time here. With him.

'Stop ogling him, damnit', a voice in her head hissed.

He noticed her gaze and cleared his throat, "Erm, ok, let's get to clean up your cabin. And after that... Lunch. What do you think?"

"I think yeah..."


	10. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Ysa felt his hand on hers. They were cleaning up her cabin. Slowly, it began to shine again. Colin took a batch of circuit boards from the shelf and so did Ysa. They brought the parts over to the next cabin, to store it in the shelves and the numerous boxes that were littering the place.

"These go to the top board in that shelf.", he told her.

She had to stand on her toes to reach it. The stack of circuit boards in her hands was about to fall over.

"Wait, I'll help you.", he said.

He pushed the boards from her hands into the shelf, his hand then brushing against hers, resting on it for a moment. She wanted to hold his hand and squeeze it. But she couldn't. It hit her, suddenly. She was all alone with him. Many hours to go, until they'd reach the mass relay. Many more until they'd reach a planet. A feeling started to rise to her consciousness. Fear. But she was not afraid of him. Oh, he was too sweet for that, by far! No, she was afraid of herself. That she could do something stupid again. What could happen to her, what that would mean for him. She realized she was about to fall into an irresponsible way of thinking. Something she had always been prone to. But this time she had to accept her responsibility. If not for herself, then for him. She had to remember it. The quarian curse. And... her past. She had almost managed to suppress and forget it. But there was no escape from it. And maybe it was just her imagination going rampant. He probably just wanted to get to know her better. Maybe he had a kind of soft spot for her, due to his big heart, or perhaps just out of being lonely for a too long time. But he wouldn't understand what it meant to her. He'd probably laugh at her. She had to stop her head from spinning around inane thoughts and silly feelings like this! She had made that mistake once before and the outcome had been very unpleasant. She pulled her hand away. Not too quickly. Just casually. Nothing serious. Nothing to think about.

"Thank you. These were the last ones right? Ok... Listen, there's something I have to talk to you about. About me.", she said in a serious tone.

"Oh? What is it?"

"I'm sorry I have to bring this up. I feel a little guilty for not explicitly mentioning it before..."

"You're not a convict on the run, are you?"

"What? No, it's not that! I... I mean, I'm not! Heck, stop kidding me!"

He suppressed a snicker, "Sorry, I'm a jerk, sometimes. Well, most of the time, actually. Ok. Serious now, what's bothering you?"

She breathed deeply. "It's that I'm a quarian. You should know there's some issues concerning that fact. One of the reasons we have trouble finding work. You know we have to wear these suits because of our crappy immune systems. A little cut in my suit, an exposure to germs or just any slightly pathogenic substance could put me into serious danger. I mean, you're not a doctor or even a paramedic, right?"

"No, I'm really not, that's right. I had to attend first aid training for getting my pilot's licence, but it only covered human physiology."

"I thought so. I don't want to worry you, I'm perfectly healthy right now, but if some accident happens to me, I could get an infection, or even go into an anaphylactic shock. You have to know how to handle such a case, or you'll end up with a dead quarian body to deal with. Sorry to put it that bluntly, but it's really serious."

"I see. I understand that very well. I told you I'm concerned about your well-being. I wasn't joking then. So what would I have to do in that case?"

"I have a medical kit, I will show you. In most cases, my suit's medical system will administer emergency injections, but it might not be sufficient, or the system could malfunction. I will show you how to check my health monitoring system and what injections could be necessary. I'm not saying that it will eventually happen, usually I may just run a fever, but the risk is real. I'm really sorry to bother you with this, but I'd really be thankful if you could look into this for me."

"You are not bothering me, Ysa! I'm glad you brought this up! The thought of any harm coming to you really worries me! I feel stupid for the thought didn't even occur to me, before. So, let's go and you show me, right now!"

She recognized the look in his eyes. She had seen it before, back when she had met him for the first time, when he found her distraught and crying in the camp. It was true concern in his eyes. He really cared. It gave her that warm and tingly feeling for him all over again. Would she push him away again, now? Would she have to? She had tried to get her mind into a sober state, but instead it had led her full circle again! She silently laughed at herself. She just knew him for less than two days! And nothing would change the fact that he was an alien. Even pursuing a relationship with another quarian was a hardship. She knew that all too well. She had screwed up so badly, years ago, on the _Shellen_. It had ended in a disaster. But this could end up just as bad. A cross-species romance? Yeah, right. There was a whole genre dedicated to that theme. 'An Alien Temptation', 'To Love an Asari', 'Fleet and Flotilla'. She had always hated these. Not because of the theme itself, but because it appeared so cheesy and unrealistic to her. Life wasn't like that.

'You are pathetic, girl! Stop thinking about that bullshit, right now!', she silently admonished herself.

That would do, better to stop thinking than to think nonsense.

Back in her cabin she showed him her medkit and it's contents. She taught him how to access her omni-tool, how to set it to a human readable language and how to activate the health monitoring. Then the access ports on her arms and how to put in a syringe. He listened and watched with great intent, asked questions and took notes with his omni-tool. He took it very serious. Ysa had to admit at least that: She felt at ease with him.

After that, she prepared a meal for him. A bacon pizza, as he had asked her for. The crust became a little bit too thick, but he said he liked it that way. Always complimenting her, it was unbearable! They sat in the little mess room at the only table that had four chairs. He ate his pizza, a little coyly, feeling her occasional glances on him. She looked just as reserved, feeding on her tube of nutrient paste. But then he smiled at her.

"There it is, again, the awkward silence. I'm sorry, I used to eat alone aboard this ship for a long time, now. Um, but firing another compliment at you will just make you feel more embarrassed, right?"

"It's ok, Colin! Just enjoy the meal! I still need a little time to settle in, you know. And... in a way, I enjoy the silence, right now."

"Oh, ok. You're not the typical quarian then, are you?"

"You could say that...", she looked out the porthole, watching the stars.

"How come you know things about quarians?", she asked some minutes later.

"Oh, you know, you won't be the first quarian on Horizon. There was that quarian mechanic working at the space port. I used to chat with him, every now and then. His name was Gann'Akat. But people just used to call him the 'loaded Gann'. Ha, um, we used to think that's funny. No, well, he was a nice guy. Kind of a local attraction there for some years, then he returned to the fleet a year ago."

"Loaded Gun, huh? Yeah, my translator just notified me about that pun. Some humans have quite funny names, too. When I came to the citadel, I ran into that job agent, his name was 'Ted Bosch'. Oh my ancestors! I couldn't stop giggling all the time! I think I pretty pissed him off. Might have been one of the reasons I had some difficulties finding a job there..."

"I think my translator didn't get that... What's so funny about it?"

"It's 'Ted Bosch' - 'Bosh'Tet'! Get it?"

"Nah. Doesn't translate. But it's a swear word, isn't it?"

"Yes, it means that... thing with that... hm, yeah, probably it's intranslatable. Something like 'Asshole', just a little more blunt."

"Ok. I get the idea. Maybe you could teach me the quarian language someday, then we wouldn't have to rely on those damn translators."

"Oh, okay, maybe. But I don't think I'm a good teacher. And Khelish is a complex language. It'll need a lot of time. Maybe more than I have."

"Then let's start with swear words. Always the most useful ones."

"Ha, my teachers would kill me.", she giggled.

They fell silent for some minutes. Suddenly she spoke up again.

"May I ask you a personal question?"

"Oh, yes... Erm, the answer is yes. Yes, I'm snoring at night. Like a drunk krogan, wallpenetratingly, if that even is a word. Um.. So, the silence you appreciate so much won't last, I'm sorry!"

"You being a jerk again? I just wanted to ask you about your age!"

"Oh well, yeah, probably watched too many slapstick flicks as a kid. But when you said 'a personal question'", he put it in airquotes, "It sounds like something heavy and unpleasant homing in, like 'What the hell are you doing with my underwear!?'. Not that I'm entirely sure you have underwear... Aw hell, I just crashed and burned...", he bashfully scratched his head.

Ysa chuckled and shook her head. This guy was something else.

"We'll discuss the _underwear question_ later, ok?", she said with a mock threatening undertone.

"Yeah, ok. Much later, as in 'never'. So, ah, my age. I'm twenty. Earth years. That's eighteen in galactic standard years."

Ysa was surprised, he was even younger than she had expected.

"Really.. I'm thirty-three in quarian years. And that's about nineteen galactic standard years."

"Oh. You're actually a year older than me, blimey..."

"Ha, don't worry, I'll still accept you as my captain! But, well, you didn't want to be called _captain_ anyway, right? So... that's pretty young to have your own ship!"

"Yeah, had to grow up a little faster after my dad died two years ago. This ship is his legacy to me. I had to continue. But I knew my way around business. Been flying with my father for years. He taught me everything about the ship, the tech, the business. That was a lot more fun than school, before that. Well, I still did my homework and attended class via the terminal, like many spacer kids. Then, when I just had the pilot's licence in my pocket... he was suddenly gone...", he looked out the porthole.

"I'm sorry, Colin... You don't need to talk about it, if..."

"No, it's ok. It was just a damn accident! At that darn colony, Watson. That place is so humid, friggin damp, really. The moisture kills off all electronics eventually. The stuff just rots in your hands in that place. My father was walking across the landing pad to the port building, he just wanted to get a sandwich or something. Then a shuttle came down. Had lost all power. It crashed down, slid across the pad into my father... At least he was dead within a second. He didn't suffer...", his voice faded.

Ysa just wanted to hug him tightly. But she did lean over table and put her hand on his.

"I'm sorry for your loss. You must have been very close."

"Yeah, we were. He was the best father a boy could wish for. But it's ok. It's two years ago. And working here in the ship... keeps his memory alive.", he blinked away the tear in his eye.

He turned his hand, took hers and squeezed it, softly. She did so, too. Her three fingers with his five.

This time, she didn't mind.


	11. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Ysa was washing a cleaning cloth in the galley's sink. After lunch, Colin had gone to the cockpit to do a little systems check. Ysa felt sad for him now, after hearing about his father's death. She admired Colin's will and strength to continue on his own, in his father's footsteps, despite his young age. She realized though, that she hadn't asked him about his mother. He hadn't mentioned her. Did he still have a mother? Was he an orphan now? But she couldn't think of a way to ask him about it, now. And there were a few more questions she secretly wanted to ask him, but wouldn't dare to. She sighed and lowered her head.

"What the..? Oh, ba'kho!"

She stood in a puddle of water! She closed the tap, opened the closet under the sink and saw a thin jet of water leaking from the drain hose.

'Great! I'm aboard for some few hours and things I touch are starting to fall apart, already!', she thought.

She used a towel to dry her feet and threw it on the puddle, looking for a bucket without success. She went to the cockpit to tell Colin about her little accident.

"I'm sorry, but there's a problem with the drain in the galley. And I need a bucket, I'm afraid."

Colin stared at her helmet for a split second.

'Another one?', he was about to say, but bit his tongue. 'That was close, jerk!', he thought.

"An... Ok, I'll have a look."

He went and fetched a bucket for her from the lavatory closet. Back in the galley he checked the drain and nodded, while she mopped the floor.

"Yeah, that old piece of rubber hose has gotten brittle. Don't worry, I'll go find a replacement in the storage. Just go and have a break, I'll fix it."

"Okay... I'm sorry for the mess..."

"Ah, don't agonize yourself over that! Not your fault, the ship's old. And this thing here has probably never been replaced before. You didn't really set up your cabin yet, did you? I can handle the situation here, trust me!", he said, lightheartedly.

"Okay, see you later..."

Ysa went to her cabin. She sat down at the desk and opened her bag to check her few personal belongings. Her medkit, some spare parts for her suit, spray cans of disinfectant, a cartridge of omni-gel, a batch of air filters. She checked the status of the air filters in her mask. 'To be replaced within two weeks' the display read. Damn, that soon. The conditions on Thimaya had made them clog up quite quickly. But she needed to do some maintenance on her suit anyway, sooner or later. She pulled out another item from her bag. A holo of her parents without their visor faceplates. They were waving at her. Her father with a warm, genuine smile and the love for his daughter in his eyes. Her mother... smiling, but it appeared forced. The cold, stern look of her eyes was betraying the smile. They were standing next to each other, but did not touch. That pretty much summed it up. Ysa sighed. She should write to her parents, but she didn't know if she could find the words that were appropriate for both of them. She shook her head. Not now. She switched the holo off and put it on the shelf. Another item from her bag was a small copy of the Scroll of the Ancestors. It was a replica made of thin plastic film instead of real paper, but it still was a real scroll to hold in your hands and read, rather than just viewing a file on a display. The next item she found, filled her with excitement. Neria's gift. She examined the small, plain metal box and found a little button on it's edge. She hesitated for a second, taking a breath. She pressed the button and the cover opened up. She found a stack of photos, copies of some of Nerias pictures from Rannoch. Most of them showing parks, gardens and nature, but in one of them was Neria, leaning to a tree with a relaxed smile on her face. Ysa felt a lump in her throat again, when she put the photo on the desk, using the omni-gel cartridge as a stand. The other item she found in the box made her wonder. It was a small metallic and disc-shaped object, about as thick as her finger. It seemed to be an electronic device of sorts, it had several sockets and connectors on it's edge. She turned it over and was astonished to find khelish letters engraved into it's surface.

'MODULE G-331-528, XEN INDUSTRIES', it read.

That wasn't exactly helpful. She had no idea what it was. Something Neria brought from Rannoch? What could that be and why would she give it to Ysa? Neria must had thought it could be of use to Ysa. She would have to show this to a quarian techie, someday. Or maybe she should show it to Colin? He definitely knew more about electronics than she did. She left the cabin and almost crashed into Colin, who just came out of the storage room.

"Whoa! Hey, Ysa! Look what I just found! I really had to dig a little to find this. Figures, the thing you're looking for is always in the last place you're expecting it. I guess it'll fit, what do you think?"

In his hand, presenting her with it, he held about a meter of rubber hose. Ysa, who had been in thought a moment ago, was totally flabbergasted.

"Oh! Oh... Colin... That's... I really appreciate... But I'm not sure if I'm ready for this, yet... I'm sorry! But that doesn't mean I wouldn't like to... um..", she said in a bashful voice, looking for words.

"No problem, Ysa! I told you I'll fix it, ok? But you could help by holding the drain hose for me while I'm tightening it."

Damn, the drain! Ysa realized that she had completely and utterly misinterpreted his intention.

'Keelah! I'm soo stupid! He doesn't even have a suit!', she thought.

"Ah. oh... Sure!", she blurted out.

"Are you alright, Ysa? Maybe you need a rest? You appear a little distracted..."

"No, it's ok, I was just in thought. Of course I'll help you, let's go!"

She wasn't sure if she could explain to him what it meant to a quarian, to be presented with a hose like that. It meant proposing to link suit environments. She felt like hitting her head to a wall.

"What's that thing?", she heard Colin ask.

"Oh, that. I wanted to ask you. Neria gave it to me, but I have no idea what it is. She didn't tell me before... the assault."

She handed the device to him. He took a close look, turning it in his hands.

"Hm. Hard to tell... My best guess would be that it's some kind of data storage. That inscription here, it's quarian? What does it say?"

"It's just a serial number and the manufacturer's name."

"I see. Sorry, can't tell you anything right now, but back home on Horizon I have some equipment I could use to test this thing. Maybe I can figure out it's purpose. Hmm... I have a feeling like I saw something like this before, but I can't remember where... Well, let's see back home. Here.", he handed it back to Ysa.

"No, you can keep it for now. I don't know what to do with it, anyway. Just tell me when you find something out."

"Sure thing, Ysa.", he slid it into his pocket, "So, let's go and show that drain who's boss, ok?"

Together, they went fixing the drain. Ysa lay close to him on the ground under the sink, helping him with the tubes. She silently laughed at herself for her stupidity. But as she felt the heat of his body through her suit, she wondered if she would eventually have agreed on linking suit environments with him, if it were possible.

When the repair was finished, Colin checked the clock.

"Still two and a half hours to go to the mass relay. You have any plans?", he asked her.

"No... not really. Any suggestions?"

"Yes!"

He pressed a button on the mess room's wall and a video screen became visible in the wall. He dimmed the light and started a vid that left Ysa quite confused at first. The picture was of horrible quality, only two-dimensional and it even lacked colour! And there was just a weird but upbeat music but no voices to be heard. Instead it featured text panels to display the dialogue. It was very strange. Even stranger was the action she witnessed.

"Sorry for the bad quality, but those are among the oldest video recordings of mankind. More than two hundred and fifty years old. That guy is Buster Keaton. Pure genius!", Colin laughed.

"You humans have a weird sense of humour... Oh! The poor guy! You find that funny?"

"Well... It's that he goes through all that mayhem, but never really gets hurt. And he appears completely impassive about all of it, that's what's funny about it, I think..."

"Hmm.. ok, I think I see what you mean."

She watched the vid and minutes later she started giggling. Half an hour later she couldn't stop laughing any more. She hadn't enjoyed herself like that since meeting Ted Bosch.

'She has such a cute silvery laugh!', Colin thought and caught himself ogling her once again.

* * *

The _Koriolan_ was approaching the mass relay, about twenty minutes to go until the jump. Colin had called Ysa to the cockpit.

"So. Now I'll set course to Bakaris, a trading world on the border of asari space. Perfect place to restock, I think."

"And what about your load? Don't you have to deliver it to Horizon in time?"

"Nah, I already contacted the retailer. He's a decent guy. After hearing what happened at Nova Macedonia, he guaranteed to desist from a delay penalty, he's glad to get the stuff at all. It's booze anyway, that stuff doesn't addle that quickly. A day more won't make that much of a difference. And you sure will need some dextro supplies. There's not that much of it available on Horizon."

"Ok. And what's that world we're heading to, Bakaris?"

"It's in the Crescent Nebula. Originally belongs to the asari, but it has some dextro-based plant life there, so a lot of turians were attracted to it, effectively leasing the whole place. It's also close to the Terminus, so it has become a major trade world in that sector. Good place to trade with turians when you're from the Terminus."

Colin's hands were in rapid motion on the hologrphic controls when the _Koriolan_ passed the mass relay. The little freighter shook a fair bit when it leaped through the void, to appear at the Tasale mass relay, seconds later.

"Damn! Doesn't this thing have motion dampeners?", Ysa complained.

"If it didn't have those, we'd be specks on the wall by now.", Colin laughed, "Sorry, I should have warned you. This ship isn't exactly built to be comfortable. I thought that's true for most quarian ships, too? At least that's what the loaded Gann once told me."

"Yeah, well. I'm from the _Shellen_, a big liveship. You don't feel the relay jump that roughly in those, I think. But I don't know about the other ships, though. I visited other ships from time to time, but never experienced a relay jump in them..."

"Ah, seems you've been privileged in a way, compared to many of your fellow people."

"Yes, you could say that. I was lucky to be born on the _Shellen_. Most of my people never come to see a plant or a tree...", she mused.

Colin's fingers got busy on the controls again.

"All righty then... Gotta plot a course to Bakaris, but first off, we have to pay that fuel depot a visit. Our tank's almost empty."

They approached and docked to the fuel depot, a long and massive structure in space, the size of which rivaled a mass relay.

"That stuff gets more expensive every time! Damn cutthroats!", Colin grumbled after the refueling was done and he had to transfer the fee.

"Ah, Ysa? We'll reach Bakaris in about 5 hours. Maybe, if you feel like it, you can start to learn a little about this business? Have a look at the trade routes and the journal. I know you're not an accountant, but it's not that difficult. I mean, my little enterprise here isn't exactly a big concern."

"Sure, I'd like that. I had to keep a journal, too. It just wasn't about money, we don't even have that on the flotilla, but about the agricultural figures, you know. How much of the resources go in, water, energy, fertilizer, and how much crops goes out, such things. I guess this is not that much unlike it."

"Yeah, it's basically the same. Balance is everything, everywhere."

They sat down at the terminal and started going through the journal files. Ysa was grateful to have something to work on, to get a little distraction from the attraction to the weird but cute human next to her.


	12. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Colin lay on the couch in his cabin, thinking. Ysa was still studying his files, she appeared really committed to it. And she was a smart girl. Maybe a little bit too smart, he thought with a smirk, remembering the conversation they just had.

"Colin, I may be wrong, but these figures... is that your net profit?"

"Yeah, I told you it's not that much. But it's quite enough to pay all the bills and survive without having to go hungry."

Ysa tilted her head, "But you told me you'd pay me 45 credits a day! If you do that, there'll be just about 30 left for you!"

"Well, you see, it varies from month to month, depends on the order situation... and you said it yourself: I'm a modest guy.", he smiled sheepishly.

"You're unbelievable! I won't accept getting more than you do!"

"Wow, an employee complaining about her salary being too high! Labour unions are gonna stone you to death, you know that?", he laughed.

She folded her arms, "Damn, Colin! That's just embarrassing! You don't need to coddle me like this all the time! I just want an adequate pay. I won't quit, don't worry! Give me 30 and it'll be okay."

Colin scratched his head, in that cute goofy way, "Hm, what about 37.50?"

"Really... Now I see the advantages of not having money on the flotilla. Bargaining is tedious! All right. Associate, huh?", she snorted.

"Yep, fifty-fifty. That's my final word. Now stop complaining, _please_, or I'll issue a bonus for you!"

"Are you threatening me? You don't want to face my wrath!", she giggled.

"Oh, hell, I'll better go and lock myself up in my cabin!", he laughed, "No really, I'm going to take a nap. If you need something, don't bother to disturb me, ok?"

"All right, captain... boss... _partner_?"

"I like the sound of that, Ysa. Partner!", he said with a broad smile.

He turned to go to his cabin, leaving Ysa, who shook her head but smiled behind her visor.

Colin lounged on his sofa, thinking about her. She made him feel so joyous... and tingly. He hadn't had feelings like this for quite some time. More than two years. After his father's death, there had been other things to take care of. A freighter pilot's lifestyle didn't go along well with having a girlfriend. And he definitely had never been a chick magnet to begin with. Girls usually just meant trouble to him. But Ysa... she was different. He snorted. Yeah, sure she was different, she was an alien! Not that he had any real problem with that, he surely wasn't one of those Terra-Firma racists. But she was an alien who couldn't even eat his food. She was forever trapped in a suit and he didn't even know what she looked like! All he could see were those mesmerizing, glowing eyes and the tip of a narrow nose. But still... she had that something. She had a cute personality. She was smart. She had a good character. She had saved his damned life! Oh, and she had stunning hips, no doubt about that! He leaned on the back of the sofa, looking out the window. Did he have a crush on her? He shook his head, then nodded. Yeah, he had a crush on her. Why else had he been so eager to get her to join him and then treated her the way he did, even giving a flower to her? Damn. That couldn't possibly work out. What was he thinking? He could never touch her skin, let alone kiss her. She had made it very clear that she could die from the slightest infection! And after all, she would most probably consider him as some kind of pervert. She wasn't an asari. She'd laugh at him! He sighed. But he felt wonderful being around her. Even if she could just be a good friend to him, he'd be okay with it, he concluded. But... then again... when he had given the flower to her, she had hugged him, hadn't she? And for some seconds she had looked into his eyes, in a very immersed way. Maybe, just maybe... But he would never force anything, that wasn't like him. And she would probably shove him out of the airlock, for that matter. She was petite, but strong. He liked that. He liked just everything about her. A lot. He felt drawn to her, inexplicably. But could he ever act on it? He had no clue. It was far too early. 'Time will tell', he said to himself and laid his head down onto the pillow.

The timed alarm woke him up. He had set it to one hour prior to the approach to Bakaris. Had he just dreamed about Ysa? He was quite certain about that, but he couldn't remember any details. When looking down, he noticed it had most likely been a very pleasant dream. He went to the cockpit to check the status, everything ran fine. But Ysa was nowhere to be seen. He returned to the crew quarters. The door to her cabin wasn't locked. He tapped the door signal once and waited. There came no reply. He ringed again. Nothing. He knocked.

"Ysa, you there? Are you asleep?"

Still nothing. He went to the engine room, then to the cargo bay. She wasn't there. Not in the toilet, not in the shower. He returned to her door and ringed again without success. He hesitated. Could he just enter? That wouldn't be very polite. But on the other hand, she possibly needed help. And the probability of finding her nude was not that particularly high. He shrugged and pressed the door opener button. There she was, lying on the couch, but something was amiss. She was shaking, her head jerking back and forth.

'Oh shit! Does she have a seizure? An anaphylactic shock?', he thought in panic.

He dashed to her side, grabbing her shoulders.

"Ysa, can you hear me? Talk to me, please!", he shouted at her.

He tried to grab her arm to check her omni-tool.

She jumped up and screamed at him, startled.

"Colin! What the heck?! Damn! Oh, I'm sorry!"

"Ysa! What's the matter? Are you ok?", he asked in shock.

Ysa just stared at him with wide eyes. Then she activated her omni-tool and entered a command.

"Now I can hear you again. I'm sorry! I was just... um, well... listening to music! In my helmet, you know. A bit too loud. I'm really sorry, I should have told you I do that sometimes. But you were asleep... So..."

"Ysa, you almost scared the crap outta me! I thought you're dying or something! Aw man...", he moved his hand over his face, then started laughing. He sat down to the floor where he had been standing and laughed loudly.

She fell into the laughter and back onto the sofa. They both laughed for quite a while. Ysa felt relieved, he seemed to have bought her little cop-out. It wasn't even a lie. She really had been listening to music, but never ever would she mention to him what other little application had been running then. He had caught her in the act, while she used her nerve-stim, just relaxing away, thinking about someone special. That special someone, now guffawing on the floor in front of her. She cursed herself for not locking the door. But that was something she wasn't really used to do. On the flotilla, you couldn't just lock the door when you had to share the room with many others. Basic crew compartments like hers back then didn't even have a door, but just a curtain at the entrance. Nobody would really admit it openly, but using the nerve-stim function of the suits was very common, especially among the young pre-pilgrims. A bit of a compensation for being confined in the suits for most of the time. But you couldn't really hide anywhere in those cramped ships, so the excuse, to be listening to music was the most common one. It was that common, that the term 'listening to music' had basically become an euphemism for doing _that_.

'Hey, you look relaxed! Been listening to music?', was a frequently heard innuendo among quarians. Ysa had gotten to hear it quite frequently. She had just shrugged at that. What happened inside of the suit was nobody else's business. Everybody did it and everybody knew it. And among the things people usually harassed her with, it was a rather mild insinuation. She had never felt guilty for it. Not for that. Not even embarrassed. But she was secretly embarrassed now. Embarassed for how badly she had needed it. For what he made her feel like. But she also found the situation so funny, it was hard to stop laughing. If Colin knew... Could he know about it? No, unlikely. Quarians didn't bandy that about in public. What would he think of her, if he knew? That was another point on her ever growing list of things she wouldn't dare to ask him about.

Colin looked at her, grinning broadly, his chin resting on his palm.

"Ok, I just learned something new about quarians. You have a highend stereo system inside your helmet. Really... I'm just curious, what kind of music were you listening that loud?"

"The music? Oh, you know, I listen to a kind of music that's not exactly popular on the flotilla, especially among the elder quarians. It's called Ni'Una and it's kind of a subculture thing. 'Geth music' that's what the haters call it. But that's very insulting, I think. I mean, it's just music made with electronic instruments, but it's not composed by machines! I don't think geth could create music like this."

She activated her omni-tool and it's audio output. A crescendo of beeping and jingling sounds accompanied with a fast percussion filled the cabin. The melody was strange, but soothing, despite the fast rhythm. Colin was fascinated, it didn't really fit his expectations. It didn't sound particularly quarian-like, although Colin in fact had no idea what quarian-like music should sound like.

"It's interesting. Not the kind of music I would have expected you to listen to.", he said after listening for a while.

Ysa tilted her head a little, "So... what did you expect?"

"I just thought, you being into nature and organic things, you'd listen to singing and real musical instruments, you know?"

"Sometimes, I listen to those styles, too. One doesn't rule the other out. But it's that we're kind of supposed to only listen to that 'classical' type of quarian music. Like they're condemning any sort of electronically rendered art, which is just hilarious given our dependence on technology! I don't know that much about technology, it's not really my thing, but I'm not condemning it! And I like unconventional things."

"Ha, yeah, unconventional, that's you. No offence!"

"None taken.", she said nonchalantly.

"I think I dig this. You know, the kind of music I like is also not that widely popular any more. I like folk. Irish folk or english folk, mostly. You could call it very old-fashioned. But, when I think about it, there's some similarities in structure with your 'Ni Una music'. Later on, we can listen to it, if you like. But now I have to land a ship, I'm afraid. We're close to Bakaris and I've got to get landing clearance. And then, let's go shopping!"

"Okay!"

* * *

They were approaching Bakaris, a light grey-green and blue little planet. Ysa was excited to visit another planet. In fact, this would be just the second planet she ever had set foot on in her life. Colin established a connection to the colony's ground control.

"Bakaris B033, this is the MSV Koriolan, Horizon-IL622-HC-8776TW, requesting VILS approach for BKT01.", Colin rattled off.

The reply came seconds later.

"HC-8776TW turn right heading 190, descend and maintain 22000 until established, cleared for VILS approach dock 023."

When the _Koriolan_ descended, Ysa saw that the landscape was mostly grey with a few green spots in between. Then she caught a glimpse of the colony's buildings.

"The buildings look sealed off, the atmosphere's not breathable?", she asked.

"Well observed. It's kinda breathable, but the air pressure is very low, so you'd need an additional oxygen supply, anyway. But I didn't plan on going outside, sorry. We'll just go to the market halls, if that's ok with you? Maybe next time we come here..."

Ysa shrugged, "No problem, the landscape looked rather boring, anyway."

The _Koriolan_ was released from the VI landing guidance and Colin steered the freighter to it's assigned docking area at the side of the huge trade building. After the ship had been securely docked with a rumbling noise, he shut down the engines and secured all systems. He grabbed his jacket from the seat and headed to the airlock with Ysa at his side.


	13. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

At the security checkpoint, the asari customs officer looked at Ysa with a suspicious gaze, but didn't object. Colin had already registered Ysa as member of the _Koriolan_'s crew, his trading licence was valid and the security scanners didn't pick up anything illegal.

"You're clear, Sir. Your... _crew_, too. You're permitted to stay for twelve standard galactic days for trading purposes. Have a pleasant stay."

Colin didn't like the asari's derogatory tone when uttering the word 'crew', but he swallowed his retort.

"What a bosh'tet!", he murmured to Ysa, when they walked down the hallway.

Ysa giggled at Colin's use of the quarian swear word.

"At least she tried to be polite."

"Yeah, and frankly we humans aren't that much better, I think. When I'm around inner Alliance space, people use to look at me the same way."

"Really? There are animosities between humans from different colonies?"

"Well, it's not that bad, but it's about us being from the Terminus systems, practically outside of Alliance space. We're striving for independence in the long term. And they consider us as some kind of hillbillies.", he smirked sourly.

"What's a hill-billy?", Ysa asked, confused.

"It means someone like a dumb, stubborn, uneducated provincial."

"Oh. That's rude. I can testify that you are neither of that..."

He smiled at her and blinked, "Oh, thanks! Please keep talking!"

"...but you're a jerk, anyway.", she snickered.

"Ouch, that hurt!", he held his heart theatrically.

"I haven't even started, yet!"

Colin was almost certain he could see the glimpse of a wide grin behind her visor.

'Damn, we're bickering like an old couple', they both thought in unison.

The huge market hall reminded Ysa a little of the bartering halls aboard the _Shellen_. Row after row of kiosks that offered goods and specialties from all over the galaxy. But Ysa wasn't that overly impressed. Compared to the citadel, this place was rather provincial. A little louder, a little dirtier and surprisingly crowded, for such a small colony.

They roamed through the market hall. There were a lot of turian merchants touting their goods, but also some asari, volus and humans. Ysa stopped by a turian grocery stand. The merchant looked at her suspiciously, as she examined the vegetables he had laid out on his stand. Then he noticed Colin, who came to stand closely next to her.

"Does that quarian belong to you?", he asked Colin, with a dark, low voice.

Colin looked up to the merchant, placing his hands on his hips.

"She's with me, if you mean that. But I don't own her, ok? You can even address her directly, she's not deaf! And politely, please. Or we may decide to buy somewhere else.", he said with a calm voice.

The turian stared at Colin for a moment, thinking. Then he straightened himself.

"Whatever you say, Sir. I didn't want to insult you, or your companion. But quarians have a reputation, you know? But, well, I haven't really had any bad experiences with quarians myself, yet.", he turned to Ysa ,"So, what can I do for you, Miss?", he adressed Ysa, _politely_.

Ysa smiled, invisibly. There was no more denying that Colin indeed had a soft spot for her.

"How much are the hesaba over here?", she pointed to light red potato-like vegetables.

"Those are seven credits a kilo."

Colin frowned, "Seven credits? That's pretty expensive for some tubers! You're not raising the price, just because she's a quarian, are you?"

Ysa held up her hand. She felt like he was getting a little overprotective, now.

"That's okay, Colin! This is dextro stuff, it's always a little more expensive. It's just because it's rare compared to your levo stuff. The price is reasonable, really.", she told him.

"Ok, Sorry. You're the expert, Ysa."

The turian merchant looked at his unusual customers with a blank stare, while Ysa continued examining the vegetables and fruits.

"Oh, Colin? Um... how much do you think I can spend? I mean, how long until we'll restock again?"

"You should buy enough for at least two weeks. There should always be reserves for some several days in the ship's storage, just in case. And secondly, after all the crap we've been through, I planned on taking a few days off. Oh, and don't bother about the price, I've got some savings. So please buy some tasty and healthy stuff for yourself, ok? I don't want to catch you saving on your food, that's an order!", he said in a commanding tone, but grinned.

"Oh, now where has that 'associate' attitude of yours gone, _captain_?", she laughed.

"It just had to step down for a moment, because I have to take care of your well-being, remember?"

"Okay, who am I to argue? Don't worry! I'll get some healthy and tasty stuff, so I can be a happy and productive crewmember. And thank you, I said it before, you don't need to coddle me all the time, ok?", she giggled, "So, I'll take six kilos of the hesaba, three kilos of the zdarash..."

She ordered quite a list and Colin really didn't have to worry about her being too modest. Ysa liked good food and she didn't hide it. After she finished her orders and the turian issued the bill, Colin was relieved it still wasn't as expensive as he had expected. The merchant had even granted them a discount. Colin paid the bill and ordered the food to be delivered to the ship later on.

The turian nodded at them, "That'll be all then? Thank you, it's indeed a pleasure doing business with you, Sir. Miss."

Ysa and Colin thanked him and turned to the aisle again.

Colin looked around, "So, what now? Oh, you'll sure need a sterilizer unit and a water purifier! Let's have a look over there!", he pointed to the area where technical equipment was on sale.

"Yes, that's a crucial thing for me, I hope it won't be that expensive... Ok, you can go ahead and have a look, I'll just stop by that herbs stand for a moment. I'll come over then. No, I don't need your credit chit! I have my own money, okay?", she dashed off.

Colin shook his head with a wide grin. The turian merchant behind him leaned a little closer.

"She's actually right. You shouldn't coddle her that much, or possibly she'll want to marry you, someday.", he uttered with a warning undertone.

"Hey, don't raise my hopes too high, ok?", Colin sighed, smiled and walked off.

"Crazy human...", the turian murmured.

Ysa bought a variety of turian herbs of her liking and went on to join Colin again. On the way, she encountered another quarian! It was a slender girl, who had a dark grey suit and a blue veil.

"A fellow quarian! Keelah se'lai!", the other quarian girl cheered, raising her hand and waving her. "First time I meet another one of us since I'm on pilgrimage! It's been just a month, though. My name is Deni'Mizan nar Tolasea."

"Keelah se'lai! I'm Ysa'Dahan nar Shellen. This is a first for me too, since leaving the flotilla. I'm about two months into my pilgrimage now. Are you buying food here, too?"

"No, I'm working for that volus tech dealer over there, Koled Per. Fixing this and that, carrying around a lot, running errands. I'm kind of his gofer. He's close-fisted as hell, but it's ok, for starters.", Deni replied, chattily.

"I think my job description may be similar. I'm flying with a human freighter pilot. But he's really nice! He pays me more than he should, I have my own cabin, he let me buy everything I liked to eat. I'm quite lucky, I think."

"Wow. Sounds like a jackpot! Wait, it's just you and the human aboard his ship?"

"Well, yes, I'm his only crewmember."

"Ahaa. I see... You're going to seduce him, right?"

"Um.. No! What are you thinking?"

"Aw, come on! You can tell me! We have to take what we can get out here! You think I'm going to get anywhere on that meager salary that stupid volus pays me? Sometimes a spare part may just disappear here and there, or his competition may get some hints on his recent transactions, for a little... arrangement fee. You'd be stupid to leave the money lying in the street. You have to see the opportunity! Those humans look similar to us. You can flirt with him, shake your cute ass for him, gain his trust, you know? Then someday you can twist him around your finger, he'll grant you access to his account... get the idea?", she lectured with an insinuating tone.

Ysa felt dumbfounded and aghast. She took a step back and shook her head.

"Oh ancestors... You're just a rotten, disgusting bosh'tet! Damn... if it weren't here in front of me, I wouldn't believe a suit full of shit can talk! Now, I'll better go, before my lunch comes up to say hello. Thank you! You just ruined my day!", Ysa railed against her, turned on her heel and went to meet Colin.

"Oh yeah, you bitch! You're oh so innocent, huh? Don't make me laugh!", Deni'Mizan yelled behind her, before she went her way, too.

Ysa found Colin standing at a human's booth that had medical equipment for sale. He pointed to a cube-shaped machine that the female human merchant just brought on a cart from the storage area behind the stand.

"Ysa, look at this! It's a combined food and liquid-sterilizer and purifier. Specifically made for quarian requirements. It's used, but completely refurbished and comes with a one-year warranty. The price is okay, too. So what do you think?"

Just hearing his voice made the anger she had felt moments ago disappear. His youthful enthusiasm always had a soothing effect on her. She took a look at the machine, it featured quarian labeled buttons and was in a good condition, as far as she could tell.

"Looks good. The appliance I had aboard the _Ardelaza _was very similar. I'd be fine with it."

Colin turned to the saleswoman, "We'll take it. 500, right?"

"What, 500 credits? Phew...", Ysa swallowed hard.

Colin shrugged, "For 'medical equipment' that's rather inexpensive, even as second-hand. And it's a one-time acquirement. Hey, without this thing, all the food we bought would be like poison for you! So it's worth a little investment!"

Ysa didn't argue, he was quite right, after all. He paid the bill on the shop's terminal using his personal savings chit and turned to Ysa. But she had already gone over to a volus tech merchant's stand on the opposite side of the aisle.

"Hello clanless, can I help you?", the volus asked her.

"Are you Koled Per?", Ysa inquired.

"Yes, that's me. If you're looking for a job, I'm sorry, I already have a quarian employee."

Ysa moved closer to the volus, "No, I just wanted to warn you. You should watch Deni'Mizan closely, _very_ closely. You should not trust her. That's all I can say. Good day."

"Oh. Okay... I had some suspicions of my own... But thank you, clanless..."

He seemed to try to make the word 'clanless' sound a little softer in this case. Colin reached Ysa and looked at her with a puzzled expression.

"What was that about?"

Ysa shook her head, "It's not important. I'll tell you later. Let's just go and walk on for a little, ok? There's a lot of stands and shops we didn't see yet."

"Sure, I'm not tired yet. And I think you still didn't buy any beverages? I think that stuff is farther down the third row."

They went on shopping, chatting and enjoying themselves, before they returned to the _Koriolan_, two hours later.


	14. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

The _Koriolan_ was back on it's way to the mass relay. Colin, Ysa and trusty old Loaderbot stuffed the provisions into the food storage room in the cargo bay and a selection of it into the galley closets and the fridge. Colin installed the food sterilizer and a test run proved its proper funcionality. They sat down in the mess room. Colin drank a beer, 'Constant Lager' from Eden Prime. Ysa had bought a couple of bottles of turian ale and put the sterilizer unit to good use for it. This time, Ysa held out her drinking canister and Colin clinked his bottle to it.

"Cheers!"

He smiled at her from the opposite side of the table,"So, it seems you're not in danger to starve or die of thirst any more, too!"

"Yes, I'm going to cook some things I have never done before! I always like to try new things. Thank you, it really means a lot to me. Most quarians would envy me, right now."

"It's the least I can do. I think you deserve it, Ysa."

"Ha, I'm not sure about that, but I really appreciate the thought!", she giggled.

Colin smiled from ear to ear. If only she could touch those lips, Ysa thought and took another sip from her canister of ale.

"Wow, this ale really tastes good! Better than the stuff we're brewing on the flotilla...", she said and took another draught.

"Maybe you should spy on the formula and bring it to the flotilla as a pilgrimage gift!", Colin prompted her.

"Ha, that's actually worth a thought...", Ysa giggled.

"Oh... I shouldn't give you ideas..."

"No? Why not?"

He hemmed and hawed a little, "Um.. Maybe I don't want you to return to the flotilla that soon, Ysa... I mean, I already forgot how to cook! I could starve to death!", he tried to joke.

She looked at him for a moment. Yes, there was something in his voice and his body language, beneath that cheerful, casual attitude of his. He was really worried she might leave! Her cheeks were heating up. Was it just the ale?

"Don't worry, I won't let you starve that soon! A pilgrimage is supposed to take at least a galactic standard year, but it can last several years. It's not only about bringing a gift, but also about gaining experience, you know. So, I'll be around to bother you for quite a while!"

"Glad to hear that! No one ever bothered me so nicely like you do! Erm. That's supposed to be a compliment... of sorts...", he scratched his head.

She laughed and drank from her ale. She felt cheery and a little dizzy.

"At the market... what was that about, with the volus you were talking to?", Colin asked curiously and Ysa's mood darkened a little.

"Oh... that. Unpleasant stuff... I met a quarian there, while you were looking for the sterilizer. We talked and that bosh'tet just casually and frankly told me that she steals from her employer, the volus!"

"So... you blew the whistle on her?"

"Yes I did, damnit! I was so angry! You heard it, quarians have a _reputation_, a bad one. And vile creatures like her are one major reason for that! Shameless bitch!", Ysa gnarled.

Colin nodded, "I see. But.. I think most people tend to behave the way they are expected to. And if everyone expects you to be a thief, she may have thought 'screw it' and behaved like one... That's not an excuse, but an explanation, maybe."

"No. I just don't get it! Keelah! We're already at the bottom of the barrel as a people! And I will damn well try to preserve that little bit of dignity I have left! I'm not a paragon of virtue, I've done some things in my life I'm not proud of, but I could never be like that! She even tried to induce me to steal from you! Damn, I wish I could have slapped her!", she took a long draught from her ale.

"You're cute when you're angry! Oh... that damn loose mouth of mine...", Colin giggled.

Ysa tilted her head, "Really... You're cute when you're being a jerk! Which means you're always cute! Um... I think I just got an infection! Loose mouth disease. Very infectious.", she laughed, looking at her empty canister.

"Did you ever drink turian ale, before?", Colin asked, frowning with a lopsided grin.

"Not really. And it's been quite a while since I had a drink... It sure has some impact, whew... And I need to relieve myself...", she stood up, staggering a little.

"Oh. Do you need help, Ysa?"

"No, I'm ok! Just a little tipsy. Don't worry, one bottle of ale won't knock me out!"

She straightened herself and went down the corridor in a slightly shambling way. 'Like a little ducky... Sooo cute!', Colin thought. He grinned and looked at his own empty bottle. He shrugged and got himself a new one from the fridge.

Some minutes later, Ysa came back, taking seat next to him, instead of using the chair opposite to him, where she had been sitting, before. The influence of the drink seemed to make her quite a bit more confiding.

"I'll better refrain from drinking another bottle, now. I'm really not used to it. You know, gross things might happen.", she said semi-seriously.

"Yeah. That'll be better. With that suit... I was wondering...", he hesitated again for a moment, "I thought it's hermetically sealed, isn't it?"

"Yes, of course. Aside from the air supply, it is. It wouldn't make much sense, otherwise. So what?"

He looked at her with a perplexed expression.

"Then... how do you go to the toilet?"

She stared at him, unmoving, blinking slowly.

Colin gulped dryly, "Aw... hell... I can't believe I just asked that! I'm such a dork. I'm a dork squared!" he put his hand over his face, "Okay, maybe... could you just pretend like I didn't ask that?", he looked at her pleadingly.

She stared at him for another ten seconds, which appeared endless to him. Then she burst out into a crazy resounding laughter.

Colin buried his face in his hands, "Yeah, ok... Yes, just laugh it up. okaay..."

Ysa held her stomach, laughing.

Colin stood up slowly, "Ok. I'll leave you for a moment. Because, now that the subject is up, I think I have to go, too..."

"Hahaha... Will you explain it to me, too? Hahahaha...", she laughed even louder.

When he came back to the mess room, she was still laughing, a little hoarse though. He sat down next to her, with a consternated expression on his face.

"Aw, ba'kho... help... I'm dying...", she gasped and put her arms around his neck, laughing with her head on his chest. After a while she calmed down. Still shaken by occasional bursts of giggles. Eventually, she looked at him, but still with her arm around his shoulder.

"Erm... Really... No one ever made me laugh like that, before!"

"I guess no one ever asked you such a stupid and embarrassing question, before.", he said bashfully.

"No! But... but... I did!"

"What do you mean?"

"Ok, I'll tell you. Imagine, I was twelve years old and just got my first suit. I'm standing in front of my father and he looks at me proudly and says: 'Now, my daughter, this is a great moment in your life! This is your first suit that will grant you the freedom to go wherever you want. How do you feel?' And I look at him and say: 'Father, it's really nice and all, but I urgently need to ask you, _how do I go to the toilet_?'"

Colin snorted, then chuckled, then burst into laughter. They sat together and laughed for what felt like hours, Ysa with her arm around his shoulder. Her throat was dry from laughing. He was a dork, sure, but so open-hearted, so cute and funny. In those last two days she had laughed more than in the six years before that. She felt like she had never enjoyed anyone's company as much as his. She felt there was something like a little sprout growing between them. Friendship. A feeling she had been missing for many years. She had been living on a ship crowded and cramped with people, but with any of them as far away from her as the next galaxy. But Colin... She only knew him for such a short time, but he already was so close to her. She felt like she could tell him anything. Anything, but that she had a crush on him and the true reasons why the very idea frightened her. She just couldn't tell him that. She feared it could destroy their blossoming friendship.

She looked at the ceiling, "Ok, you wanna know, how it works? Erm, well... You know how an airlock works, don't you?"

"Of... um... course..."

"Basically the same way. You saw that one item I put next to the toilet? It's a can of disinfectant. It connects to the suit, to enable a cleaning cycle. I'll spare you the details."

"Okay, okay. I got it. But thanks for sharing it..."

Ysa stood up and went to the fridge to get a bottle of sterilized water.

"Now! Your turn!", she said when she sat down next to him again.

"What..?"

"Now you explain to me how you are using a toilet!"

"Ah.. It's rather simple, I mean, I just go and open my pants and take my..."

"Erm stop, I'm just kidding!"

"I know, me too.", he giggled, "But hey... I can show you something else! A little trick."

"What are you up to, this time?", she asked suspiciously.

"See the data pad on the table? Watch it."

Ysa looked at the data pad. At first nothing happened, but then... it rattled. Just a little. Then it lifted! It came to stand on its edge, then on one angle, slowly spinning. Bewildered, she looked at Colin. There it was, a faint, barely visible blue glow around his body. He breathed hard, deeply concentrated.

"You're a biotic!", she exclaimed.

He let out a deep breath and the aura vanished. The pad tilted over and fell back to the table. Colin wiped the sweat off his forehead.

"Yeah. Just a very, very weak one. Even lifting that small thing there a little bit for some seconds is exhausting and that's about all I can do. It's so weak that it was deemed insufficient for training by the Alliance officials. And I'm quite glad about that. I heard some frightening stories about the training camps and those implants they gave to biotic kids. No, it's just a gimmick, but of no real use. Other than impressing girls, that is.", he smirked.

"So, you are trying to impress me?", she asked softly, still surprised.

"Did I succeed?"

"I... I think yes, you really did. Biotics are very rare among quarians. I never met one, aside from the asari. It is a great gift, even if it's weak."

"Yeah, my mother's gift to me...", he trailed off.

Ysa leaned on the table resting her helmeted head on her hand, facing Colin.

"Tell me about your family."

"Okay..."


	15. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Colin leaned back, stretched his legs and rubbed his neck.

"That's a bit of a winding story and a little sad, maybe. I'm born on earth, in central europe... okay that doesn't tell you that much... Well, my father was an Alliance pilot then, flying on the earth-mars route, mainly supplying the scientists who were examining the prothean ruins. He transported many artifacts from there back to earth. My mother worked as a lab assistant in a research centre in Prague. Some of the prothean artifacts ended up in the lab she was working in. Then one day, one of those strange prothean devices blew up in the lab when they tried to activate it, releasing a cloud of eezo dust into the air. My mother didn't even know she was pregnant then..."

Ysa nodded, "That's why you are a biotic."

"Yeah, it wasn't that much of the stuff, it was just a small device. But there were other harmful substances released, too. My mother got quite ill from it. The doctors said it was kind of a miracle that she survived, and me too, for that matter. But she never completely recoverd. She died when I was just three years old. Cerebral aneurysm they said, probably a long-term consequence of the accident."

"Oh... I'm so sorry Colin...", Ysa said and put her hand on his shoulder. She felt deep sympathy for him, for her surmise about him being an orphan turned out to be true. First his mother, then his father, both lost to terrible accidents. Ysa's issues with her own past seemed to pale a little in comparison.

Colin nodded faintly, "It's ok. I was very little. Maybe when you're still a little child, you can easier adapt to a new situation. Of course I missed her very much and I didn't really understand what had happened. But my aunt Anita took care of me and my brother. She is a very, very nice and caring person. She became like a mother to me and Shaun. I think it was harder for him, he was already sixteen, then."

"He's quite a bit older than you, then."

"Yeah. Thirteen years older than me. Shaun was born in 2150, when my mom was just twenty. Well... after the accident, my dad was completey devastated. He felt guilty, for it had been one of the artifacts he had brought from mars. Of course it wasn't his fault, but he never really got over it. One day he couldn't take it any more, staying on earth, with all the places that reminded him of her... So, two years later, in '68, he sold our house, the estate and almost everything we possessed. He wanted to get away from earth as far as possible, I think. He heard of that newly founded colony of Horizon, a good opportunity to start all over again. So he and my brother went out there to build up a new life, while I stayed on earth with my aunt, for a while. My brother already studied agriculture then, he was quite thrilled by the idea, to become a farmer on a newly colonized world."

"Sounds like I have some things in common with your brother...", Ysa mused.

"Yeah, true. I sure think you'll get along with him after a while, but you know, he's quite different from me. He's more like my mother, that's what dad always said. He's rather reserved and quiet, you could say. It may need some time until he warms up to you. The same is true for his wife Lien, maybe even more so... Well... dad and Shaun were among the first settlers on Horizon, the land was practically free, it just needed to be developed. They built the farm up from nothing. But it worked out quite well. Horizon has very fertile farmland. When the farm was set up and going fine, my dad finally came back to earth to take me there, when I was seven. And boy, I loved it! It felt like a real adventure and much better than the crowded city I had lived in, on earth."

"I think I can sympathize with that. I felt exactly like that, when I started my pilgrimage two months ago.", Ysa said and leaned back, too.

"So, you didn't like the life on your ship?"

"Hm... to be honest, I always dreamt of a different way of living. I like plants and nature, I was always longing to visit a planet. And, as you said, I'm not quite the typical quarian. I never felt comfortable in crowds. I mean, it's not like the crowds you may be used to. Quarian ships are _very_ crowded. You can almost never be by yourself there, aside from a one-hour cleanroom admission every two weeks, to clean yourself and the suit and maybe eat some real non-blended food."

"That's really not much privacy... It must be a very hard life, there. I don't think I can even imagine it."

"I think most of us like it that way. We're a social people, you know? At least we're supposed to be. But we're not all like that. I always felt a little out of place. And there are other aspects of the flotilla I really feel uneasy about..."

Colin raised his brows, "Like what?"

Ysa looked at him, thinking quietly for a moment, while she hooked her bottle to the mask's port to drink.

She put the bottle down and sighed, "In all honesty, Colin? The flotilla is in decline. My whole people is. You can feel it. Many ships are centuries old, barely holding together, you don't need to be an engineer to see that. Something or another is breaking down all the time, you see it everyday, everywhere. That's why most of us are tech people, repairing all day long. Nobody dares to admit it openly, but it's like we're desperately fighting a battle against time. And we're losing. All you get to hear from the admirals and the conclave are hollow morale-boosting slogans. I... in my nightmares I see the grand migrant fleet as nothing but a fleet of flying coffins...", her voice lowered to a harsh grumble.

"That sounds so dire... But I won't say that I pity you! What I mean, in fact I admire your people's determination and resourcefulness to survive against all the odds! All your people need is a planet to settle, I think."

"That's easier said than done, given our immune system condition and the fact that we need a dextro-amino based world. Our homeworld Rannoch is lost, probably forever. The geth don't really appear like they'd welcome us back. So we must find another planet to settle! It would certainly take decades, if not centuries, to adapt to another ecosphere, but I'm sure it's possible. But I always got a feeling like most of the people just arranged themselves with our current situation. Stuck in the same old ways of thinking. It has always worked out up to now, so why change anything? It just pisses me off... There are voices of reason, though. I always liked to listen to Zaal'Koris speeches, he's one of our admirals. He vocally endorses the idea of finding a new homeworld. My father is quite convinced of Koris' opinions and I tend to think the same way. But... concerning his views on the geth, I came to rethink my opinion a bit, recently. I'm not that sure any more if those damn machines have the right to occupy our homeworld...", she sighed again, shaking her head, "But I really don't believe we could win against them, we barely manage to stay alive as is, without having to fight a war.", she lowered her head.

Colin nodded, folded his arms and shrugged a little, "But maybe, now, after the attacks on Eden Prime, Therum and some small colonies like Nova Macedonia... now that the geth have more or less formally declared war on us, maybe the Alliance will do something about it..."

"Yeah, maybe... But let's say they really manage to repel the geth and drive them back beyond the Perseus Veil, you think they'd follow them there?"

Colin rubbed his chin, frowning, "Good question... I have no idea... But you think that would be suicide, right?"

"I'm afraid so, but honestly I have no idea, either... Only the Ancestors know how many geth are lingering there... It's all just idle speculation for us."

"Yeah, seems we digressed a little. We were talking about our families. So, what about your parents? Any siblings?"

Ysa looked out the porthole, "Oh, there's not that much to tell... I'm an only child, most quarians are. You know, one-child policy to prevent overpopulation. My parents are just ordinary people. My mother Silna is an accountant of sorts, she works in the resource distribution office of the Shellen. My father Vaan is a physician."

"Interesting, you chose a completely different career, then."

"Yes, you know, I was always interested in biology. I toyed with the idea to become a medic like my father, but as I said, I was never really a people person and I don't like to see blood and sickness... so I ended up in agriculture, and I never regretted it."

She folded her hands and looked at him. When their eyes met, Colin suddenly forgot what he wanted to say. Her white glowing eyes were drawing him in. He knew the sudden silence should feel awkward, but it just didn't! He pulled himself together, blinked and turned to look at the clock display on the wall.

"Wow, it's just 3 hours until we reach the mass relay! We'll have to jump to the Omega relay first, but don't worry, we won't hang around there. I'll have to realign the relay there to jump to the Iera system. Just a little less than an hour then and we're on Horizon. We should rest a little, now. Weird sleeping patterns are an apparent side-effect of this job, I'm afraid. But we can sleep in plenty when we're there."

"Sure. I'm a little tired anyway... but I don't know if I can sleep...I'm pretty keen to see your homeworld.", she stood up and stretched a little.

Colin stood up too, "Unfortunately, it'll be late night in the area where we live, when we arrive there. But as I said, we can sleep in and tomorrow you'll see it in all brightness!", he said with a wide smile.

They went to the corridor. At the doors to their cabins, Ysa turned to him.

"It was really nice talking to you Colin. Thank you."

Her high voice was so sweet, he thought and moved a little closer to her. He caught himself wishing he could follow her into her cabin.

"It was my pleasure, Ysa. It always is. I think, I couldn't wish for a better companion than you. Honestly, not kidding you this time.", he said with a warm voice.

Ysa giggled a little, "Ok.. Thank you again. Now have a nice rest, so you're up and alert, when you have to pilot us through the relay."

"Ok, Ysa. See you in three hours! Try to nap a little, too, ok? And have a nice dream!", he turned to his door, a little reluctantly. She saw him enter his cabin, when the door of hers closed.

She pressed the button on the side of the sofa and with a quiet hum it folded out the mattress. It appeared so huge to her, she'd sleep like an admiral, she thought.

* * *

Ysa felt his presence. He entered her cabin. Slowly. Cautiously. He switched the light on, but kept it at a dim level. He sat down on the bedside, next to her. She kept her eyes closed, pretending to be asleep. She could hear his excited breath close to her.

"Are you awake, Ysa? Please listen to me! There's something I want to tell you.", his voice was soft, but very serious. She could hear the longing in his words. She opened her eyes, sat up and looked into his eyes. Those beautiful brown eyes.

"What is it, Colin? Just tell me!"

He took her hand and held it tightly.

"I have feelings for you, Ysa. I can't deny them any longer. I need to hold you. I want to touch you! I think... I love you...!", he sighed deeply, squeezing her hand and putting the other hand to the side of her helmet.

"Colin, I know! I feel the same way! I wish we could... Oh, my sweet boy!", she cooed.

His eyes widened and his expression turned into a bright smile. She embraced him and held him as tight as she could. He stroked her back, then his hand moved down to her bottom. She shivered in delight. He loosened the embrace and started to caress her body, her legs, her waist, her breasts. She moaned. But the sensation was dulled by the suit. It was not enough. She wanted more. She needed more!

"Keelah! Colin, wait! I can't take it any longer! I need this to be real. I want to feel you without this damn suit!", she started to fumble at the lower part of her mask.

"But Ysa, wait! It could harm you! You don't have to do this!"

"I don't care! I have plenty of antibiotics! Don't worry, I'll be okay! I want to give myself to you, the way I really am!"

"You're doing this for me? Oh Ysa, my sweet darling! I want you, right now!"

He gazed at her with a wide smile, his eyes full of anticipation.

She pulled the little hidden levers under her mask, took a deep breath and opened the visor. His eyes widened. She beamed at him.

"I love you, Colin!", she whispered, breathless.

His eyes widened a little more. His smile froze... and faded, surprise in his expression. No, not surprise. Revulsion. Horror. He flinched away from her.

"Ysa... what... you... No! It can't be!", he stammered in shock.

He jumped up, paced back and forth, then fell into the armchair. He buried his face in his hands.

"Goddammit... I fell in love with a monster!", he cried.

Ysa couldn't take it any more. She slapped herself.

And woke up in her bed. Alone.

"Damn dreams... stupid... friggin... bullshit! Ba'kho mel detha!", she muttered angrily.

Of course she had known that it had been a dream, as always. But she had tried so hard to make herself believe it were real. She had succeeded at that. And it had become a little bit too real to her. She continued cursing herself for quite a while.


	16. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

After passing the mass relay in the Sahrabarik system, the _Koriolan_ reached the Iera system. Ysa joined Colin in the cockpit, sitting down beside him in the co-pilot's seat. She looked at him from the side, trying to forget the nightmare she woke up from with a start an hour ago. Colin smiled at her, while slightly correcting the freighter's course to Horizon.

"Ysa, good afternoon! Um, evening, well, night actually, by Discovery local time. Still more than nine hours till sunrise down there. Days are quite long on Horizon and so are the nights. It's an almost thirty-eight hour cycle. We'll be there in fourty-five minutes. Oh, I prepared your contract, here. Read it and tell me if there's anything you don't like. Otherwise, you can sign it with your personal code. That'll simplify getting your entry visa at the port. I mean, don't worry, they won't give you any problems, it's just boring formalities."

"Ok, thanks.", she browsed the contract on the data pad that Colin handed her.

She shook her head, "Fifty percent of the company's net profit. I can't believe you actually put that in there... Hm, break times, holidays... Insurance... Wait, what's this? It's stated here, that standard health insurance regulations do not apply for quarians!", she pointed out.

"What the...? I didn't even look at that passage! It's a standard council space employment contract. What asshole put that in there? Damn racists... We'll just delete that clause and I'll have a word with my insurance agent, ok?"

"Ok, but I'm afraid health insurance for a quarian will be more expensive than for any other species..."

"Ysa, please stop worrying, I'll take care of it! I know how important health care is for you.", Colin assured her.

She nodded, "It sure is. Living like this is kind of an imposition. And it sucks, believe me. I wish it were different... Crap, I'm pitying myself again...", she gnarled.

"Hey, it's ok. Other people have to care for their health too, you know. I'm traveling around the whole galaxy all the time. You know how many vaccinations I had to endure? Must've been hundreds... Maybe I should get myself a nice quarian enviro-suit?"

"You? No way. You'd go crazy after some weeks, if not days, trust me."

"Speaking from personal experience?"

"Definitely.", she giggled.

"Okay, I'll do it! I'm already crazy. Then we'll be the two loonies in suits!"

"Sure, _suit_ yourself!", Ysa laughed, "But honestly, I'd still rather have it the other way around."

"You mean, with me stuck in a suit and you without one?", he snickered.

"No, I meant with both of us without... Aw, Colin stop it! Yes, you're already crazy, I got that!"

She shook her head, but realized that he probably had developed that lighthearted attitude of his as a way of coping with the losses he had to mourn. She felt sympathy for that and she had to admit that his blithesomeness had a certain contagiousness to it. While he altered her contract, she watched his face and wondered what his real reaction to seeing her face would be. Unlikely that he'd break into tears as in her stupid dream, but could he ever be attracted to her, after that? No damn way, she thought. Colin looked up and smiled at her, handing her the data pad, Ysa took it and signed the contract using her personal ID code.

The freighter neared Horizon and slowly the blue-green sphere became visible to the naked eye. Captivated, Ysa watched the growing planet. The surface appeared motley, with a lot of isles in the oceans and a lot of lakes in the continents. Colin steered the freighter into a long curve for Ysa to marvel it's whole beauty. Jungles and primeval forests covered large portions of the land. It was a garden world that did it's denotation justice.

"It's so beautiful... It looks like it's bursting with life! Is the wildlife dangerous?", Ysa asked.

"Not that overly dangerous, no. Sure you've got to watch out for some critters. Aside from some worms, the fauna is insect-like for the most part. I heard it's like earth has been billions of years ago. Many of those insects grow very large, many can fly, and some can bite or sting. Quite a few are poisenous, but only to the local fauna, not that much to humans, fortunately. I'm not sure about quarians, though. But don't worry, they're not prone to attack you and most live in the jungles, anyway."

"Interesting... I have to see them! I like insects!", Ysa said happily.

Colin frowned and grinned, "Really? A girl that likes insects... That's uncommon, so yeah, quite like you."

"Why not? I'm fascinated by such creatures, because our homeworld Rannoch completely lacked any insectoid life."

Horizon's surface now filled the entire cockpit window and they passed the terminator line. Colin pointed to a certain spot in the equatorial area on the dark side.

"Can you see the lights down there? Yeah, it's small and hard to see. That's Discovery, the capital. We're living close to it."

Ysa adjusted the vision enhancement function of her visor and then noticed the lights they were heading to. Colin established a connection to the ground control.

"Hey there, Discovery tower! Anyone awake down there? This is the Koriolan coming home, finally. I hope you all've been missing me?"

The radio crackled, then a female voice answered, "Colin! Yanina here. Good to hear your voice again! We were a bit worried down here when we heard of Nova Macedonia! Talk to you down here, ok? You're clear to land by the way. Just head to your usual pad at the freight terminal."

"Thanks Yanina! Oh, and I'm bringing a guest! So prepare the state reception, red carpet and all, will ya? Zeleny out."

"Uh huh? Now I'm curious! Ok, I'll call up the mayor, he's sleeping too much anyway, I heard. Tarkova out."

Colin smirked at Ysa, "Feels good to be home again. Quite informal tone here, I know, but they know me since I was a little boy."

The Koriolan decelerated and descended to the space port. Ysa could see the street lighting of Discovery city in close proximity to the space port. Unfortunately, Ysa couldn't see that much of the landscape. The planet's lack of a large moon caused the landscape to appear mostly pitch black.

Colin landed the freighter smoothly and deactivated the main engines and the ship's artificial gravity. Ysa noticed that Horizon's gravity was pleasantly a little lower than the migrant fleet's standard.

"There we are, finally!", Colin cheered, "Let's pack our bags and stuff. You should select some food for a few days to take to our house. And we'll have to take the sterilizer with us."

They went to their cabins to pack their bags. For Ysa it was just her little shoulder bag and Colin came out of his cabin with a travelling bag. He went to the cargo bay to retrieve a little pushcart on which they put the food sterilizer and a box with Ysa's dextro food supplies. In the cargo bay, Colin sealed the bulkhead and activated the decontamination cycle.

"Sorry, Horizon's air pressure here at ground level is a bit above standard, so equalizing the pressure will take a little longer than usual.", Colin explained.

"Okay. My suit will automatically adjust to it. So you won't see me implode.", she said in a deadpan voice.

Colin snorted, "That's good, because I don't have an air-pump here. Hm, ok, just warning you, here comes one of those awkward, stupid questions again, don't laugh like crazy, please."

"I'll try, depends on how stupid it is.", Ysa chuckled.

"Um, well... Don't you have to get out of the suit to... um, wash yourself, someday?", he asked with a low, chary voice.

Ysa giggled, "It's not that stupid a question, actually. The thing is, I don't exactly have to, but I'd really like to! The suit can keep me clean and sterile for several months, but back on the flotilla I went to a cleanroom every two weeks to wash myself and clean the suit. So it would be really nice to have a facility. I'm in this suit for two and a half months now... It gets kinda... um, itchy, you know. I was told that I should go to a hospital and rent a cleanroom for that purpose."

"Good idea! Discovery has a well-equipped hospital. Gann'Akat never talked about such stuff, naturally, but he likely went there, too. I'll call the hospital tomorrow and ask them."

The airlock control panel beeped to signal that the pressurisation was finished and the rear wall of the cargo bay hinged down to become the loading ramp. A mild breeze welcomed them and Colin took a satisfied breath. He went to the loaderbot and instructed it to transport the few containers of beverages to the freight terminal's entrepot. Ysa went down the ramp at Colin's side and looked around. The space port was rather small and illuminated by some floodlights. Little swarms of insects were circling around the lamps. The port building they were heading to had the shiny prefab building block architecture that was typical for a rather new colony. It was surprisingly quiet, there was just one other freighter on a landing pad some hundred meters away, that was being stowed with containers by loaderbots. Ysa breathed in and tried to smell the air, the faint scents that the olfactory array of the air filter permitted. It smelled slightly sweet, earthy and quite pleasant to her, the typical scent of levo-based flora. They entered the port building and stopped by a desk, occupied by a muscular looking, dark haired customs officer and a tall blonde woman at his side.

Colin waved them, "Hi Jake, Yanina! Good to see you, I hope everything's going fine here?"

"Hey, Zeleny Junior! I heard you had a close encounter with those damn geth-robots on Nova Mac? First Eden Prime, then Therum, now this. So, good to see you're still standing, mate. Everything's nice, quiet and boring here, as usual. But I see that's about to change! A quarian! Didn't see one since the loaded Gann! Did you save her from the geth, or what?"

Colin laughed, "Actually, she saved me! From an angry turian with a knife at my throat! Ok, long story... Ah, Ysa, this is Jake Rodriguez, local harassment.. erm _customs_ office.", he grinned and Jake frowned showing a lopsided grin, "Jake, this is Ysa'Dahan nar Shellen, she's kind of my employee now, so she'll need entry clearance and a preliminary visa. Here's her contract and the papers for the freight. Just some booze that is. Theo will pick the stuff up, tomorrow.", he handed a data pad to the officer.

"Ok, let's have a look. I'll need your ID code and DNA scan, Miss."

"Yes, of course.", Ysa complied and handed him her council space compliant ID card.

Meanwhile, Yanina came around the desk to talk to Colin. Ysa noticed she had a large scar on her face and one of her eyes appeared artificial.

"So, you finally found someone to accompany you? Told you, you'd go crazy if you're always flying alone. Given your choice, that has already happened!"

"Hey, cut it out! She's a damn fine person, ok? And I've always been crazy, you know that!"

"Ah, Sorry, I'm just teasing you, ok? I'll have to go upstairs to my station again, but we'll have to meet and drink a beer, soon! And you bring her too, ok? See ya!", she tapped him on the shoulder, blinked and went to the elevator.

"Sure thing, Yanina. I'll call you, I promise. See you then!"

He turned to Ysa and Jake, who just handed her a data card.

"Ok, you're clear, Miss. Here's a preliminary visa valid for two weeks. To apply for a permanent residence permit you'll have to go to the immigration office in Discovery. Ok, do you have any plants or seeds or live animals with you?"

"I have a collection of herbal seeds and a flower, but I left those in the ship. Colin already told me about the regulations. I know very well how important it is to protect the local environment from contamination with foreign plants or animals. And then here I have this box of dextro food and a sterilizer unit."

"I'm pleased to hear that, Miss. I already scanned your food and the bio-scanner says it's all clear. Of course you'd be permitted to bring certified terminator seeds with you, should you wish to plant a garden. So, have a pleasant stay on Horizon!", he smiled.

"Thank you very much, that's very kind!", Ysa replied.

"Just doing my job, Miss Dahan. Colin, just got the scan result of your freight. All clear, too. Anything else I can do for the two of you?"

"Nah, thanks mate. We're tired, it's been some rough days, recently, you can imagine. We'll just head home now. Bye Jake, have a good one!", Colin said and shook Jake's hand.

"Sure, have a good night you two!"

Colin lead Ysa through the main hall to the exit, heading to a skycar stand. He stopped by one, opened the gull-wing door and they put the luggage in the rear compartment.

"I'm a little astonished how friendly the people here are! I mean, with me being a quarian, I didn't expect that...", Ysa said to Colin as she sat down on the passenger side.

"Yes, I told you, the people here are mostly nice. And... you have to know, many of the people came here to get away from council space or alliance space. Dissidents, dropouts and fringe-dwellers, you know? I think most people here can relate to quarians very well. Of course, there's always some people who are reserved towards aliens. But I think, after a while they'll get used to you. And Gann always said that this is the best place he's ever been to.", Colin said, closed the door and started the skycar's engine.

"Yeah. I haven't seen that much of it, but I think I like this place, already.", Ysa replied and looked out the window, watching the dark landscape passing by, below.

She turned to Colin again, "Um.. Colin? I haven't really thought about it... where will I stay?"

Colin raised his brows, "Well, um.. in my house, of course! I mean you could stay in a hotel, if you want.. but..."

"No, that's ok! You have your own house, too?", she asked excited.

"Sure, a smaller one. I mean, smaller than my brother's cottage. He's got a wife and a baby, you know? We used to live together in the cottage, but when my brother married four years ago, we bought some more prefabs to build another house on the other side of the farmstead. And now with dad gone, it's just my house. There's enough room for two, don't worry."

Ysa nodded and tried to hide her flustered anticipation.

"So, we're already there!", Colin said and steered the skycar down. They landed in front of a building that was mostly hidden in the darkness of the night. The headlights of the skycar and the stars were the only sources of light to be seen. They got out of the car and Colin went to the entrance of the house, to switch on a lamp above the door, while Ysa started to unload the luggage.

"Hey brother.", a low voice suddenly sounded up, startling Ysa.

A man headed towards them, stepping into the light. He wore a red overall and a leather jacket. He looked strong and tall and totally unlike Colin. Ysa was caught by surprise, this was Colin's brother?

"Shaun! You're still up? I told you I'd come over tomorrow morning!", Colin said and gave his brother a brief hug.

Shaun was a head taller than Colin and much more brawny, but then she saw the similarities to Colin's facial features, especially the eyes.

"Lien and Kim are asleep. Just wanted to welcome you home and greet our guest. This her?", he turned to Ysa.

"Yep. Ysa'Dahan nar Shellen, the girl who saved my life! Ysa, this is Shaun, my favourite brother!"

Shaun smirked faintly, "His only brother, that is. Pleased to meet you, Miss nar Shellen. Seems I owe you, too.", he shook her hand.

"It's my pleasure, Mr. Zeleny. Um.. It's 'Dahan nar Shellen', actually, but just call me Ysa, ok?"

He shrugged, "Sure, call me Shaun. You need help with that?", he pointed to the sterilizer unit. Colin nodded.

"Yeah, this thing is quite heavy. You could help me carry it to the kitchen."

Shaun just nodded and went to carry the machine into the house with Colin.

Ysa entered the building. With the lights on, she noticed it was built from four prefabs, assembled to a simple cubic two-story house. It had a living and dining area to the front, a kitchen and a bathroom to the rear side and bedrooms on the upper floor, Colin told her. The interior was simple and convenient and looked like it wasn't really used all that much, which made sense, as Colin was probably more of the time abroad than at home.

"Let's just put it here on the counter. Ok, that's it. Whew. So, wanna stay for a beer?", Colin asked Shaun.

"Nah, thanks. But I'll go to bed. Have to go to town, tomorrow morning. Some early business at the market, y'know. And you look like you need some sleep. Good night, little giant. Good to have you back. Good night, Miss Ysa.", he smiled faintly and went for the door.

"Good night, Shaun!", Ysa said and watched him leave.

She turned to Colin, a little puzzled, "He really doesn't talk much..."

"Ha, it's rare to catch him that chatty! Usually he just communicates by two-word sentences. Don't worry, he's always like that. I actually think he likes you.", Colin said with a smile.

They put down the luggage and Colin showed her around. They went upstairs by the stairs at the side of the building.

"This is my bedroom.", Colin told her, "The other room used to be my dad's, but I completely cleared the room, sold the furniture. I... I was afraid I could never enter the room again, otherwise. And then I didn't have any idea what to do with it. So it's completely empty right now. We will have to set it up for you, soon. But tonight you're going to sleep in my bed. I'll sleep downstairs. I'll just change the sheets, here.", he said and went to do so.

"Colin, that's... you don't need to...", Ysa stammered.

"Don't argue with me, ok? It's a human tradition that requires me to sleep on the sofa, when I have a female guest.", he said, smiling widely.

"Thank you. You're really a... what's it called in your language? A Nobleman?"

"Ha, I'd rather say 'gentleman'. But thank you, Ysa. So, we should have a little quick dinner and then go to sleep, ok?"

"Yes, ok. What would you like me to cook for you?", she asked.

"Nah, not tonight, too late, I think. I have some instant meal in the freezer. I'll just heat it up, quickly. That'll be a bit like your nutrient paste, then."

They sat down at the small dining table in the living room, Colin eating a steak with vegetables and Ysa eating from her nutrient paste.

"The woman at the space port... Yanina? What happened to her?", Ysa asked.

"You mean, her eye? I just know it happened to her on Omega, before she came here. But she never talked about it, and I never asked. Most people come here to leave the past behind, you know. So, it's better not to be too inquisitive. We should try to avoid reopening old sores.", he said thoughtfully.

"Yes. I think I can understand that very well...", Ysa said quietly and nodded slowly.

Colin didn't reply, for suddenly he realized that Ysa apparently had some old sores of her own. Something bad had happened to her. And it wasn't about the pirate raid back on Thimaya, there was something else, much deeper. Something she wouldn't tell him. But he knew he shouldn't ask, he had just told her so, himself. So he just nodded. She kept silent and looked at the tube in her fingers. She looked a little unsure and hush right now, he thought and felt like he should put his arm around her. But instead he finished his meal and then spoke up softly.

"I know, you may feel a little lost and awkward, right now. It's probably always like that, when coming to a new place to call a home of sorts. And the night's dark and gloomy out here. But don't worry, tomorrow everything will look a little different! We should go to sleep, now. If there's anything you need, just tell me, ok?", he stood up from his chair

Ysa looked into his eyes. A sudden impulse made her stand up and come over to him. He was puzzled and pleasantly surprised, when she put her arms around him, hugging him long and tightly. He felt a warm and tender wave of affection running through him. He wanted to hold her close, forever. Finally she took a step back and cleared her throat.

"I think, I just needed this... Thank you, for everything! Good night, Colin!"

"You're always welcome, Ysa. Good night and sleep tight!"

She left him, confused as he was and went upstairs. She lay down on the bed, _his_ bed and stared at the ceiling. It always came over her again! Those urges she just couldn't withstand. She knew that she was sending him some very wrong signals and she was about to bring herself into serious trouble, if she couldn't control herself a little better. But it felt so good to embrace him! It made her feel safe, peaceful and content. Was it just an illusion, she was falling for? She sighed and tried to come to terms with her conclusion, that her yearning would never find fulfilment. She closed her eyes and fell into a deep, dreamless slumber.


	17. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Colin sat on the sofa, drinking a cup of cocoa, waiting. After half an hour, he silently sneaked upstairs and took a peek into the dimly lit bedroom. Ysa was asleep, apparently. She lay on her side, the blanket over her body. Her eyes were closed, as the absence of their glow behind the faceplate gave away. Colin let his eyes linger on the outline of her figure and suppressed a yearning sigh. He noticed that she had taken off her veil, which was draped over the chair next to the bed. Beside the bed lay her boots and with a faint smirk he wondered how she got in and out of those tight, curved things. He switched off the bedroom's light and waited for a minute, then he silently went downstairs again. He had a suspicion he had to look into. An uneasy feeling was stirring his guts, when he went to the trapdoor in the corner of the room and opened it. He climbed down the stairs and switched on the light. The small basement room held some storage shelves, a workbench with electronic tools and two wall closets. He remembered the device in his pocket, the metallic disc which Ysa had gotten from her deceased asari boss, Neria. Colin frowned and shrugged, then put the disc on the workbench. He would have use the circuit analyser on it, later on. But first, he had to check on something, a vague memory of something his father had kept down here. He went to one of the closets, the one that hadn't been opened in years. He hesitated for some seconds, before he slowly opened it. There it was. Colin paled as he stared at it. Then he nodded slowly. He swallowed hard, having found his suspicion confirmed.

"Oh bloody hell...", he muttered.

This was going to get complicated. He knew he had to hide this from Ysa. She'd go ballistic if she found out about this! He should get rid of it. But then again, it could probably prove useful. He closed the door and sighed. He should get a lock for the closet soon, he thought. He went up to the living room again and closed the trapdoor. He dimmed the lights, undressed and lay down on the sofa. He covered himself with a blanket he had brought from the bedroom before. He couldn't sleep for almost two hours, engrossed in thought about the closet in the basement.

* * *

Ysa woke up relaxed and well-rested. Colin's bed was even more comfortable than the sofa-bed in her cabin on the _Koriolan_. She opened her eyes. Golden light shone through her faceplate. She got up, but didn't activate the visor display and it's vision enhancements. She slowly stepped to the big front window. Green and golden beauty overwhelmed her. She had never seen such a beautiful world before. The plain grasslands she remembered from Thimaya paled in comparison to this. Here, bathed in Iera's light, she beheld endless fields, hills, meadows, green trees and shrubberies as far as the eye could see. A faint mist covered the landscape and some fluffy white clouds were floating across the blue sky. She saw swarms of insects swirling around in the distance. The air itself appeared to have a certain golden sheen to it. Ysa just stood there in awe and let the scenery's magic sink in. Some hundred meters to the right she spotted some buildings. A residential house, probably Shaun's cottage, shining off-white in the morning sun. The central part of it looked like it was built using prefabs, but there were unusual extensions to either side of the building. Another big building in a short distance from the cottage appeared to be some sort of agricultural outbuilding. Ysa was quite curious about the humans' farming methods. She knew quite a lot about hydroponics, but raising crops in actual soil on a planet was certainly an entirely different matter. Here, one had to deal with several unpredictable factors like the climate, the weather, biological conditions of the soil and many more. There surely was a lot of shoptalk she could do with Colin's brother. She absentmindedly tried to scratch an itchy spot on her back. She really longed for a cleanroom. She activated her visor and her omni-tool and started with her morning routine of checking the suit systems. Section seals, air filter, medical emergency system, cleaning and sterilizing functions, sensory feedback, energy supply, CPU and omni-interface. Aside from the air filter, her suit was in perfect condition. She put on her veil and her boots, then fastened the two straps on her chest. She looked at herself in the mirror on the wardrobe. She wasn't particularly pleased with what she saw, but there wasn't that much she could do to prettify herself. She snorted with a dry laugh and shook her head when she thought about putting make-up on her visor faceplate. Damn, Colin's daftness seemed to rub off on her!

She went downstairs to the living room. The snoring she already perceived on the stairs, told her that Colin was still fast asleep. He slept on the couch, facing it's back. Slowly and quietly, she moved closer to him.

'Don't do that!', the familiar strict voice of her mother echoed in her mind.

'Screw you.', Ysa thought back and stroked over his auburn hair, gently and tenderly.

He moved a little and stopped snoring, but didn't wake up. Ysa took a step back and beheld his slender figure.

'Could I ever seduce you?', she thought.

'_You're oh so innocent, huh?_', Deni'Mizan's words came to her mind, stirring feelings of anger and guilt in her. No, Ysa wasn't really innocent. Not at all. But she wasn't like Deni. Ysa had paid for her mistake and regret filled a fair portion of her heart. She tried to sweep aside the gloomy feelings that were surfacing inside her. She turned around. It was a wonderful morning on a beautiful world, she should do something to accommodate that.

* * *

Colin woke up to a certain scent. Was that... bacon? He got up, rubbed his eyes and went to the kitchen. He found Ysa at the stove, busy with a frying pan.

"Good morning, Ysa! No, don't tell me that's...", he uttered.

"Colin, good morning! I found some foodstuffs in the cupboard and the freezer. I checked my recipes database for what to do with it. For a human breakfast, you know? The closest match I found is called 'full English breakfast'. I just couldn't find mushrooms...", she said and turned to him.

'Alien or not, suit or not - I so have to marry her!', Colin thought.

"Hey, that's sweet! And coffee? Wow, thank you, you're a star!", he said aloud.

Ysa didn't reply and gave him a bemused look. Her eyes wandered to his chest, then his belly. He didn't wear anything but shorts. She was unendurably pleased with what she saw. His body was slender, but not skinny. The human's muscle- and bone-structure was somewhat different from a quarian's, but Ysa found him quite attractive nonetheless. But what was that strange hole in the centre of his belly? A scar? Had he been shot once? No, it looked like it was a natural trait. Or was it... a sexual characteristic?! But he was a male, wasn't he? Were humans yet that different from quarians? She suddenly realized that she had no clue about human anatomy, aside from the obvious.

"Erm, I'll just go to take a quick shower, ok?", he said a little coyly when he became aware of her gaze and went to the bathroom.

"Yes! Ok, breakfast will be ready then!", Ysa called after him.

She found that she was making a fool of herself in his presence, again. She smirked. Maybe she should just ask him? It wouldn't be any more embarrassing than him asking about her way of using a toilet. But no, she'd better just look it up on the extranet. But only when he wasn't around. She finished frying the eggs and checked the other pot in which she was cooking a hesaba soup for herself. She put his dish on the dining table and then poured her soup into the sterilizer machine. Colin appeared in the doorframe, now dressed in pants and a shirt. He got himself a cup of coffee and smiled at her, affectionately.

"Hey there. Your breakfast is on the table, I'll join you when mine's ready.", she told him.

"Okay, thanks a lot!", he replied and sat down at the table.

Ysa came to sit down opposite to him, putting down her tube of hot soup.

"Sorry, I should have put on some clothes, earlier on.", Colin apologized.

"It's ok! I didn't feel intimidated or something! It's more that I envy you a little, you know...", she lowered her gaze and connected the tube to her mask to eat.

"Yes, I know. Let's call the hospital after breakfast. I'll make sure you get your cleanroom soon."

"Thank you, that'll almost be like Keelah a'Tezath for me! Um.. you know that's a holiday we have on the fleet, to celebrate the memory of our homeworld."

He nodded, "I see. Something like our new year's, or christmas. But well... christmas is a little out of fashion nowadays and celebrating earth's new year wouldn't make all that much sense here either, so we have invented our own public holiday here. We call it 'One Third's day'. That's because one Horizon year equals almost exactly three earth years, so we divided the year into 36 months. After one third of a Horizon year, twelve earth months, we celebrate. The celebration is just even a little bigger when a full Horizon year has passed, that's called 'Full Third's day'. Next time will be second Third's day in four months. Phew, sounds overly complicated, when explaining it..."

"Never mind, I'm really interested in your customs and your culture! And wow, you didn't exaggerate. This world is so beautiful! I can't wait to see more of it!"

"Then would you like to go for a walk? My brother will be back from the market in three or four hours. We'll visit him then. But until then, we can roam around a little."

"Yeah, I'd like that!", she said merrily.

They finished breakfast and called up the Discovery Central hospital. Ysa was delighted to hear that they indeed had a cleanroom suitable for quarians. She made an appointment for the next day, so she'd finally get to clean herself. They left the house to go for a walk, after packing some beverages and snacks in their bags. Colin led her along the fields towards the meadowy hills. It was a mild and pleasant day and Ysa joyfully looked around. Nobody else was to be seen, aside from an occasional skycar flying over, every now and then. She touched the grass and the bushes and increasingly felt like she could jump for joy. It was like Thimaya, just better! And when she had been happy to walk alone on Thimaya, it felt even so much better now, with him at her side.

"Colin?"

"Yes?"

"It's almost overwhelming how beautiful this world is! I never would have guessed a place like this could really exist. It's... a little bit like I'm inside an entertainment vid, you know? That's all we have on the flotilla. Thimaya was great, but this is incredible! I just want to... I want to run!", she burst out.

She took his hand and started running up the hill, as fast as she could. Colin had some problems to keep up with her, but he smiled brightly. He had never seen her so full of joy. Her feet raced over the grass and only the tips of each of her feet's two long toes were touching the ground. She felt like she could just rip her suit from her skin to embrace this world, to embrace him! She wanted to run even faster, she felt so alive! But when they had almost reached the top of the hill, Colin couldn't keep up the pace any more and loosened the grip on her hand. Furthermore, Ysa's visor display came up, showing a warning message. 'Attention! Maximum air flow capacity of this filter reached! Please replace air filter soon!'. She slowed down, breathing hard. Colin smiled at her, gasping. They looked at each other and laughed breathlessly. Colin sat down in the grass and Ysa lay down beside him, folding her hands behind her helmet, looking at the sky.

Colin catched his breath, "Wow... Now I see. These bowed, springy legs of yours are perfectly evolved for fast running. You barely touched the ground!"

Ysa turned her head to him, "Yes, my ancestors used to be fast runners. I just had to run, you know, maybe it's a primal instinct. There's not much opportunity to run around on a crowded ship... Well, with those straight legs, I guess you humans are better at long distances, whereas we quarians are rather sprinters. But I'm not that fast, my legs are rather short..."

"So are mine, you'd still outrun me any time.", he laughed.

"I'd never run away from you.", she said softly, before she could bite her tongue.

"Oh, thanks. I guess you mean... we're friends?", he looked at her with a warm smile.

Ysa sat up and looked into his eyes intently. Eventually she nodded, "I'm glad I have met you. I like you, Colin. Yes, I am your friend.", she said calmly.

"And I am yours.", Colin replied, fully aware of his words' ambiguity. He put his hand on hers, "I like you too, Ysa."

For a moment Ysa felt like it tore her apart. Voices of alarm were screaming at her from the fringes of her mind. But she thrust them aside. Colin and her were just friends now, there was nothing to be afraid of! She squeezed his hand and nodded slowly. Right now, here in this wonderful place, she wouldn't let anything spoil this moment for her. Because this moment felt just perfect. The sky, the landscape, his smiling face in the sunlight. Now, here was where she wanted to be. If the absence of homesickness was a feeling, what would that be called? Contentment?

For more than an hour they sat there in the golden-green grass, chatting and laughing, drinking and eating, enjoying each other's company. Ysa got lost in this moment that didn't seem to end. She just faintly and distantly felt the struggle of thoughts and emotions that were whirling around, down in her subconscious. A nagging thought coming up, barely surfacing. This was all too perfect, wasn't it? And there was something imperfect in all of this. It was herself. She realized that she could never be closer to him as she was now. She suppressed a sigh.

A low whirring, flapping sound made her look up. A huge insect was hovering some meters away from them, observing them with its big blue compound eyes. Then it suddenly closed in on them, hovering right in front of them. Its long green body was about a meter in length and its wing-span almost twice that. Ysa watched it with great fascination, but also uncertainty.

"A giant darter! Ysa! Don't move!", Colin hissed to her.

"Oh. Okay. It's dangerous?", she whispered, keeping completely still.

The insect changed its position again abruptly, moving to their left, then to their right. Eventually it appeared to have seen enough and flapped away.

Colin let out a relieved sigh, "Actually no. It's completely harmless. Worst thing it could do is poo on you.", he burst into giggles.

"Aww, Colin! You stupid, retarded, blithering... jerk!", she exclaimed and bopped his shoulder.

"Ouch! That hurts!", he rubbed his shoulder, grinning, "But still... totally worth it! Hey ouch! Not on the same spot again!"


	18. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

They were on their way back along the field path, happily joking around. Ysa wasn't really mad at him, his silly jokes always made her laugh, after all. And she had already avenged herself with a little bruise on his shoulder. Colin still felt like he had to apologize in some way, so he started picking flowers from the edge of the field. Ysa watched him, wondering why he was doing that. Finally, he was satisfied with the size of the bouquet and turned to Ysa to present her with it.

She tilted her head, "Um, thank you? Why did you do that? You just snapped them off. Now they'll wither and die quickly..."

"Erm, sorry... It's just some flowers for you... It's rather meant symbolic, you know?"

Ysa looked at the red blossoms, "Actually, I don't. Symbolic? The flowers have a meaning?" she asked, confused.

Then it began to dawn on Colin. Flowers didn't exist on the migrant fleet. They needed to grow food, nothing else. Ysa had no clue about the custom of giving flowers to someone. She just didn't know this human gesture and she didn't know about the possible romantic implications of it. She had been grateful for the thimayan flower he had given to her before, but only because she happened to like that particular kind of plant. But she was unaware of the gesture's symbolic value to humans. He could just as well have given a carrot to her!

"Well, it's one of those human customs. In this case it's meant as an apology for fooling you around. But humans give flowers to each other to, um, show kindness, or sympathy...", he said warily.

"Oh. I see.", Ysa took the flowers from him, looking at them, "So... when you gave the flower to me on the ship, it had a symbolic meaning, too?"

"Hm, it was meant as a welcome gift then, I think. But, yeah, also as a sign of trust and sympathy."

"I see, I didn't know flowers have a special meaning to humans, but I think I got your intention. That's why I hugged you..."

"That's truly a universal gesture. I think even krogans do it, although they'd never admit it in public.", he laughed.

"So, having received the flowers... am I like, supposed to hug you now, by human tradition?", she asked, a little unsure.

"Not, erm, necessarily, no. But I wouldn't mind, actually.", he smiled sheepishly.

Maybe Ysa was a little slow on the uptake, but it dawned on her. He was sending her signals, too. All the time. But why? Was it the humans' way of expressing their friendship? Or was he just playing silly games with her? She couldn't believe he'd really be interested in her and she still didn't really understand him. She didn't really understand herself, either. Why couldn't she ask him, right here and now? She couldn't bring herself to it. She was a damn coward, she thought. There were just too many reasons standing against anything resembling a romantic relationship. Not only with her being a quarian, bad enough, but she was a troubled girl and she'd be nothing but trouble to him. He just didn't deserve that crap. Time and again she had turned this over in her mind and these thoughts were leading nowhere. So she hugged him once again, not as tight as on the evening before, but like a friend. This ought to be friendship, nothing more. It was nice and good this way, she couldn't ask for more. And she'd leave the matter at that for the time being.

They arrived back in Colin's house and put down their bags. Colin went to the bathroom and Ysa waited in the living room. She played around with her omni-tool and noticed that she still had to connect it to a local extranet-node. When the connection was established she was presented with a huge load of junk mail that had piled up on her account. She still had to figure out how to set up the damn spam filter! One advertisement caught her eye, though.

**'NERVE-STIM **_**PRO**_** EDITION:**

Now with enhanced bio-feedback algorithms and high speed sense pattern generator! Includes interspecies neural transference protocols suitable to connect to all major simulstim devices. Comes pre-configured with over 100 sensational perception modes and 150 sensual enjoyment programs. Features enhanced compatibility with volus and quarian enviro-suit interfaces. Only 120 credits! Download today, take an extra 20% off on your online purchase!'

Ysa hesitated for almost five seconds before she pressed the 'Download' button.

Colin came back from the bathroom, about to sit down next to Ysa when they noticed a vehicle passing the house. It was a kind of a hover truck.

"Shaun's back from the market. We could go over for a visit now, if you like."

"Okay, but... I'm not entirely sure how to behave there. I mean, I don't know a thing about your customs..."

"Yeah, I know. I'd say, just be yourself. But well, they're calm and quiet people, so just be friendly and polite, especially to Lien, his wife. She's a little shortspoken, you know."

"Okay, I'll keep it in mind."

When they neared the cottage, Ysa noticed a big garden next to the house. They were growing flowers, herbs and some vegetables, there.

"I wish I had a garden like that, too. That's always been sort of my secret dream. On my ship, I kept asking for a little space to grow my own stuff, but my superiors weren't exactly pleased with that idea.", Ysa told Colin.

"Hey, you know there's plenty of room here... The backyard of our house is just a big lawn. I wouldn't mind at all if you turned it into a kitchen garden."

"Oh, wow. Thank you! That's... um... _our_ house?"

"Sure, my house is your house, now.", he smiled at her.

Ysa tried to think of a witty reply, but they already reached the front door and Colin pressed the bell button on the door's holographic panel. They waited for a moment and Ysa looked at the house, which was beautifully decorated with a floral wreath on the front door and flowers in the windows.

"Just come in.", Shaun's voice came up from the inside and the door opened up.

They passed through a little entry hall into the living room. The house, while obviously made of prefabs, had undergone extensive rebuilding. There were walls missing, but new ones put in at different places. Unlike Colin's, this house had a homey and lived-in atmosphere to it. It was decorated in warm colors and remotely reminded Ysa of the living areas in a migrant fleet's ship. The floor was partially littered with what appeared to be colorful children's toys. Shaun and his wife were waiting at the entrance of the living room to greet them. Ysa looked at the tall black haired woman. She had slightly slanted eyes, resembling a quarian's, but they were dark brown, even darker than Colin's. Her expression was reserved at best, as far as Ysa could judge. Shaun looked just calm and friendly like the night before.

"Hey brother, Ysa. Nice you came over.", Shaun greeted them, patting his brother's shoulder and shaking Ysa's hand.

"Hello Shaun! Lien, how are you? Oh, may I introduce you, this is my friend Ysa'Dahan nar Shellen. She's a quarian from the migrant fleet. Ysa, this is my brother's wife Lien."

"Hello, I am very pleased to meet you, Mrs. Zeleny.", Ysa said in a slightly shy voice and held out her hand.

"Hello.", Lien said, but didn't shake Ysa's hand. Instead she folded her arms, looking sternly at Ysa. Obviously she wasn't pleased.

Shaun frowned and cleared his throat, "Erm, let's have a seat?", he led them to a living room suite.

Colin and Ysa sat down on the sofa, next to each other. Ysa shyly looked at Lien who sat down in the armchair beside Shaun's, sizing Ysa up with a suspicious gaze. Ysa felt uneasy about her and completely forgot how close to Colin she was sitting.

"You guys wanna drink something?", Shaun asked.

"No, thank you very much, but I'm sorry, I can only drink dextro beverages. Or sterilized water.", Ysa apologized.

"I could go over and fetch some for you!", Colin offered.

"No! It's ok, I don't need anything, right now, really.", Ysa uttered and felt even a little more uncomfortable. Being the centre of attention made her feel edgy.

Shaun just nodded with a faint smile, "Never mind. Bad immune system, heard about it. So, Colin, lager for ya?"

"Yeah, sure. Thanks."

He brought two bottles of beer for Colin and himself and a cup of tea for his wife. Colin and Shaun clinked their bottles.

"So, how's business going on the market this morning?", Colin asked Shaun.

"Decent. Got a fair deal on the horisnip and sold fifty kilos of hemp to a turian, believe it or not."

Colin frowned, "Hemp? What the hell are turians doing with hemp?"

"Beats me. That turian didn't tell me. Maybe to weave cloth, maybe they're smoking it.", he grinned lopsidedly.

Colin laughed out loud, "Aw crap, it's not _that_ kind of hemp, is it? If I see a stoned turian slouching around with a spliff, saying 'Peace bro' to everyone, I know who's responsible!"

Shaun just shrugged, "So, you guys got some interesting stories to tell, I guess?"

Colin leaned forward, "You bet! Ysa here, my quarian heroine, is the very reason I'm still alive and kicking... But ok, first things first, I came to Nova Mac to drop off some beer for the miners, when those geth..."

Lively he told them the colourful story of the events on Nova Macedonia and Thimaya. He talked like a waterfall and Ysa felt relieved that she only had to give him some cues here and there. She felt embarrassed though, for he praised her like some kind of supernatural being. At least Shaun asked a little question every now and then, but Lien just sat there, unmoving, steadily staring at her all the time. But when Colin neared the end of the story, a whining sound came from the adjoining room and Lien stood up.

"Kim's up. I'll go look after her.", she said.

She came back with a little baby girl in her arms. She had brown eyes and black hair like her mother and was clothed in a red playsuit.

"Hey, the little lady is up to see her uncle!", Colin cheered.

He went over to kiss the baby girl on the cheek. She giggled and chuckled when Colin tickled her stomach. He turned to Ysa, "So cute, ain't she?"

Ysa nodded, she had never seen a baby outside a bubble or a cleanroom. The similarity of human and quarian babies was striking, she thought.

"She really is! How old is she?", she asked Shaun.

"Just got ten months and she's already trying to walk! Well, emphasis on trying.", Shaun replied with a smirk.

Lien held the baby close, in a quite protective manner, but the baby squeaked, kicked and struggled to get down. Lien sighed and put Kim on a large blanket on the floor next to the sofa, where she could play with her toys. But she had already found another object of interest and was quickly crawling towards Ysa, looking at her curiously. The baby grabbed at Ysa's legs and pulled herself up to look at the strange visitor.

"Baga, baga.", the baby babbled.

"She thinks you look like a bug, Ysa!", Shaun laughed.

Ysa giggled, "Yeah, my helmet. It surely makes me look a little bit like an insect."

She held up her three-fingered hand to Kim, who looked at it with a gaping mouth, then she gently stroked over the baby's head. That very moment Lien let out a little scream and hurried to take the baby up in her arms.

"Don't touch her! Don't touch my baby! Nguoi tho bi!", Lien yelled at Ysa, who was completely baffled. Her translator didn't recognize the last few words, but it surely didn't sound friendly.

"I-I'm sorry. I didn't... I would never harm her...", Ysa stammered.

"Get out, NOW! Colin! Get that weird alien out of here, right now!", Lien screamed hysterically, holding the now screaming baby tightly and protectively.

"Lien! This is Ysa, she's a friend, she's ok! Don't be afraid of her!", Colin said aloud.

"Whatever she is, I don't want her in this house around my baby! She can stay in your house, but not here!", she snarled and turned to hurry into the next room.

Shaun turned to them, "I'm sorry, Ysa... Colin, you know...", he apologized and quickly went after Lien.

Ysa wringed her hands, then headed out of the front door, leaving Colin dumbfounded behind. She felt dismayed and dejected. After some meters outside, Colin reached her and put his hand on her back.

"Ysa, I'm sorry! But, you can't know... It's not your fault, ok?", he tried to appease her.

"What? What is not my fault? Being an alien?", Ysa grumbled.

"No, yes... It's... I thought Lien's just afraid of batarians. I thought she'd be ok with you. But I was wrong, I'm sorry! Damn, even Shaun thought it would be ok! But Lien's a mother and protecting her baby is a strong instinct, you know."

Ysa walked on, but looked at him, "Why's she afraid of batarians?"

Colin sighed, "Bad story. She's from Mindoir, a human colony. Thirteen years ago, batarian slavers raided the place. They killed almost all of the colonists and enslaved the survivors. Lien was among the few who could escape. She was just a teenager and had to watch her whole family being slaughtered. She hid in a hole in the ground in a forest, feeding off roots and worms for weeks. She's badly traumatized. She screams whenever she sees a batarian, even if only on a vidscreen. And ultimately she mistrusts all non-humans."

Ysa swallowed hard, "Keelah... That's horrible... I'm not angry at her, not at all. If I had known... Why didn't you tell me, before?"

"Shaun told me so. He was afraid you could mention it by chance. And I also didn't want to bring this up. For her, you know. She has to leave that behind someday. I'm sorry... really...", he lowered his head.

"Okay, I understand your reasoning... But you think anyone could ever just leave something like that behind? Not gonna happen. She'll have to bear that scar for the rest of her life. She may repress it, but it will never go away."

"Yeah, I'm afraid so, too... But I hope she'll accept or at least tolerate you, someday."

Ysa shrugged, "Maybe... Someday... Someday I'll leave, anyway."

Colin felt a huge lump in his throat, hearing her talk like that. Some few hours ago she was so joyous and lively. Seeing her low-spirited like this now, it wrenched his heart. They approached Colin's - _their_ house.

"Ysa, hey, don't let this put you off! Please don't feel like you're not welcome here, ok? Lien... that case is special, you know?"

She stopped with him at the door and looked at him intently.

"Colin, everyone's case is special. Always.", she breathed deeply, "But I know what you mean. I won't leave because of this. I also hope it'll work out, eventually. But I won't come to their house again, unless she says so."

"Good. I'm glad to hear that. Now, let's do something to lighten up the mood, take the mind off things, what do you think?"

"Okay, what did you have in mind?"

"Have you ever been to a beach? Seen an ocean?", he asked with a smile.

Ysa blinked for a second, "No. Never... That's a great idea! Is it far from here?"

"About an hour flight by skycar."

"Okay, Let's go!", Ysa cheered.

Colin smiled happily. In some way, Ysa was like a child exploring the world and everything was new and exciting to her. Like she was exciting to him.


End file.
